Phampants is a liar*.

We’re cruising down I-90 when Phampants raises his fist, taps the roof of the car and mutters “pididdle.” Thinking he had a tiny bout of Turrets, I asked him what the hell he just said. “You don’t know what pididdle is?” He asked, as if I just said I never heard of Google. No, I haven’t heard of pididdle and I was convinced he was making up words.

Well as it turns out, pididdle exists. It’s a game in which you look for cars without a headlight. Alternately, a car without a taillight is called pedunk. I never understood these car games. My favorite is Slug Bug. It’s the only game where I’m allowed to punch people.  Warning: Don’t play with the driver. A good punch to the arm and the steering wheel WILL move.

But onto more important things than pididdle. Phampants is a liar. Mr. I’ve Been Drinking For 30+ Consecutive Days was supposed to be starting a week of detox. But he didn’t. I felt that as a blogger, Twitter had a the right to know about him falling off the wagon.

And then he was all:

No it’s not! That’s like telling a kid that it’s his fault he hits mommy. Or something. The point is that he’s a liar.

* A nice liar. He drove me home.

Do you have weird games you play in the car to pass the time?

I’ve been struggling with how personal I wanted to be with this blog for the last few months. It started out as a Chicago news “here’s what’s happening & here’s what I think” type of blog. It quickly evolved into a personal blog where I was very raw and open about relationships and the emotional rollercoaster my breakup sent me on.

Now, F&F has become a cork board of sorts where I hang up funny pictures, helpful tips and completely random ramblings. I don’t feel as comfortable as I used to about sharing personal details, especially since everyone knows about this blog: friends, family, employers, etc.

If I had an anonymous blog I could:

• Spill the details about my crush & why it will never happen.

• Vent my frustrations.

• Share why I just can’t get over it & still wonder if every guy with a shaved head could be him.

• Really explain what’s going on with my dad.

• Post pictures with that little black bar over my eyes.

I’ve thought about creating another blog where I could do some of these things. I wouldn’t be as open as I’d like because it would be impossible to be anonymous at this point, but it wouldn’t be something I pass out at tweetups, meetups or interviews. I’ll see what happens.

How open is too open? Do you ever wish you could go back and change the privacy of your blog? Do any of you have secret blogs?

I love getting older for one reason, well, two reasons. One being that I will soon be able to receive a lower car insurance rate (woo!) Two, I’m finally hearing stories from my mom and aunts that would have been deemed “inappropriate” at any other age.

My Aunt M is getting married in September and we got together to brainstorm shower details. I may have brought up strippers, I really can’t be sure if it was me*. I learned that at a birthday party many years ago, a cop showed up to tell Aunt M that her car was illegally parked. She blushed and made funny “Oh YOU guys” faces and the rest of the family was like “NO. Move your car.” Yeah, the cop was really a cop. So we joked that we should have her shower at a Mexican restaurant and invite a stripper.

Aunt A: Yeah, and he can show her his taco.

Me: – Nervous look on my face as I try to hold back the urge to 1. giggle uncontrollably (I’m the good niece damnit!) 2. Inform her that she’s describing the wrong anatomy. -

Deciding that I didn’t want to enter into a conversation about tacos and va-jay-jays, I bit my tongue. We all share a laugh as I contemplate which Spanish dish to compare the male anatomy to. Too many laughs later, I nonchalantly utter: Chimichanga**.

Aunt A: You have big dreams Jennifer.

What’s that saying? You know, the one that’s always on posters in high school counselor’s offices: “Aim for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.” That applies in this situation right?

* I lied. I definitely brought up strippers.
** Have you ever had a chimichanga? Ouch.

With to-do lists up the wazoo, I’ve decided to ignore their length and importance and play with a fun blog meme instead (Kudos to Maggie for sharing her list.)

I Can’t…

* reach the top shelf
* understand simple chemistry
* whistle very loud
* get into the Harry Potter books

I Can…

* name every bone in the body
* tell you about interesting uses for cadavers
* drink enough Red Bull that my heart begins to vibrate
* laugh at myself
* make you laugh
* type with my toes

I Won’t…

* ride a motorcycle
* drink Jameson…or Jager
* buy a Kindle
* be found in Jerry Springer’s audience

I Will…

* try new things
* challenge myself
* sing along with Disney movies
* give credit where credit is due

I Shouldn’t…

* worry
* eat popcorn for breakfast
* hold grudges
* care what people think of me
* drink Red Bull until my heart vibrates

I Should…

* go for a walk every day
* disconnect
* write more
* be better at focusing
* paint again

What’s on your list?

I have a big problem. I have a heavy, if on you, will squish you problem. It’s called mosquitoes, or as I lovingly call them, bloodsucking demon insects from hell.

My blood must be very appealing because those BDIs stick to me like glue. They seek me out. If I go stand inside by the door, they come up to the door taunting me with their little stingers.

I’m smarter than they are. I’m short a malaria net, so I found the next best thing. A trench coat. So there I was, looking like a flasher in my mom’s backyard, giggling because I outsmarted a stupid bug.

Look at that proud look on my Painted face. I also lack legs. But I’m a winner*. I could only imagine having to fight off vampires. I have a feeling a trench coat wouldn’t keep them away.

What’s one thing you don’t quite love about the summer?

* I spoke too soon. I wrote this last night and when I woke up, I counted two mosquito bites. Wait…three. Effers!

I’ve missed the last couple weeks of PostSecret – my bad! So here are my favorites from this week. Be sure to check out the rest of them at PostSecret.

After working with cadavers for a few years, can you really blame me for choosing this secret?

Love the message! I’m done wiff it!

I usually forget to scroll over postcards to see if there’s something on the back/front. Luckily I remembered this time!

Whenever I start feeling extra stressed, worried or negative, I like to step back and remind myself of the good stuff. It’s been a while since I’ve shared a love list. I’m not particularly stressed or worried, but a lot has been going on lately and I haven’t had a chance to stand still. This is my attempt. Love list #4:

Dancing around to Weezer’s “The Good Life.” When cereal stays crunchy in a bowl of milk. The butterflies. Happy cats. Outdoor concerts. Being just far enough out of the city to see the stars. Big fluffy pillows. My grandpa’s laugh. My grandma’s accent. Temporary tattoos. Planning road trips.

New Twitter backgrounds. Fireworks. City noise. The new Facebook app (coming soon!) Love stories. The sound of a can being opened. Dresses that make me feel great and don’t make me look pregnant. A baby’s giggle. The sound of turning the volume up on my Mac.

Crumpled-up tissue paper. Walking through a new part of the city. Smooth legs. Comfy couches. Laughing until my abs hurt. Real Simple. Meeting new bloggers. Rain mixed with sunshine. Passing a hopscotch and playing along just because I can. Creative social networking icons.

Getting lost while writing. Finishing a book the same day I started reading it. Postcards. The drawer full of business/calling cards from events. Fun water bottles. Blog badges. Smelling books. Holding hands. Cadaver labs. A complete DVD series. Mother’s Day. Franzia. Mangos.

What’s on your love list?

Yesterday I asked you what your favorite blogging experience was. Many of you cherish the connections you’ve made through blogging and I’m really happy to see that. It’s hard for me to pick just one experience to label as my favorite, so I thought I’d share a few.

• Discovering the 20SB network. I’ll admit that while blogging was enjoyable before the network, I didn’t start having fun until I met more bloggers. Without 20SB, I don’t think I would have found such an amazing community of bloggers. 20SB keeps it fun with the blog swaps, vlog days and blog carnivals.

• Liveblogging BlogHer ‘08. I had the opportunity to sit in on sessions I probably would have overlooked had I not been asked to live blog. I met some truly amazing and inspiring women and learned a lot about bloggers, writing and myself in the process. Plus I got a cool badge that said “staff.” Yeah, I felt cool.

• Meeting amazing Chicago bloggers. I can remember my very first Chicago blogger meet-up. I cannot believe that I’ve known some of them for more than a year. We’ve had a lot of fun since the first one and I cannot wait to see what else is in store for us! I’ve developed some incredible friendships since then and I’m so proud to be a part of this community.

• Laughing until my abs hurt with Jamie. Jamie and I hit it off right away. I remember meeting her at Borders and talking for hours and taking funny leprachaun hat pictures. The memory that stands out the most is our dinner at Bahama Breeze. We were laughing so much and so hard that our abs hurt the next day. I couldn’t even tell you what was so funny and thats the best part – enjoying someone’s company so much that you feel completely comfortable letting go. And I can’t forget our sweet Scrabulous skills.

• Being a hostess. I love that I was able to invite my friends to enjoy a night of drinking, conversation and video games at the Nintendo GGG party. If it weren’t for my blog, I would have never been approached. It felt good to gather up my blogger and non-blogger friends in one room to enjoy some geeky fun.

So those are the experiences that stand out in my mind. I’m looking forward to new experiences, relationships and opportunities. Don’t forget to share your favorite blogging experience! I’m still giving away blog swag bundles and I want YOU to get one!

Many bloggers are talking about the 20-Something Blogger Meet-up that happened last weekend. I don’t like repeating the same details as someone else, but I’m sure our blogging paths will cross at some point this week. I wanted to start off by thanking some of the people, companies and organizations involved. (Click the 20SB image below to read the rest of the post.)

I’m in an abusive relationship with my Wii. There, I said it. It beats me down and I keep coming back for more. It’s kind of like Rihanna and Chris Brown, except we’re both white and neither of us can sing very well. So I guess, when you really think about it, we’re nothing alike.

I’ve mentioned my issues with Wii Fit before. Imagine my surprise when I decided to participate in EA Sport’s Active 30-Day Challenge. I’m pretty sure I was drugged when I bought this. I’ve already tackled WiiFit and don’t even get me started on boxing. I’m crazy. Seriously, watch out. I figured this Active thing couldn’t be that hard. It isn’t too bad. Of course I’m only on day four and have it set on easy.

I have stumbled upon two red flags:

#1 While WiiFit is emotionally abusive, this game lies to me. I could be standing still and my trainer (I named him Frankie) tells me I’m doing amazing. When I’m obviously sucking, I’m doing a great job. When I’m trying really hard, I’m told that I could do better. Even my best isn’t good enough!

#2 It brings back painful memories from kindergarten. We received report cards for stupid tasks like skipping, whistling and jumping. I have no idea how they judged jumping, but I received a B*. This has haunted me and even now, during this game, I’m having a hard time jumping. WHAT THE EFF?! A B?!

If admitting that wasn’t embarrassing enough, I’ve drawn what I look like when attempting a lunge. Jumping lunges can’t even be described by the brush in my Paint program.

What is it about physical fitness that turns me into a complete klutz? Examples can be found here, here and here. It’s like a bad game of Twister minus all the colorful spots and cute boy on top of me.  …what?

* Really? A B?!