“Imagine a world where there’s a URL for every chapter and paragraph in a book – every sentence even. Readers could point to their favore sections in a MySpace update or instant message or respond to an argument by copiously linking to the smartest passages in a recent best seller.” – The Future of Reading

I’m not sure I want to imagine that world. At a time where everything is going online, I tend to treasure the few things that aren’t. Books are one thing that I don’t want to read online. I cannot picture myself carrying around a kindle either. I love the pages. I love the smell. I enjoy highlighting and underlining passages and leaving notes in the margins. If I’m lending a book out, often I’ll leave a note on the inside cover. I can’t do that with a kindle. 

Social networks are taking over the Internet. I’m not sure if I want my books to be included. I don’t mind sharing what I’m reading or writing a review about it on my blog. But a real-time comment feature on every sentence, paragraph and chapter? No thanks. How cluttered would that be? And would someone else’s comment change the way I felt about the book before I had a chance to finish it?

So I’m curious, are you a big reader? Would you be more or less inclined to read if the books are online?

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My choice: Two months ago I was sucked into the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich. Stephanie Plum is a laid-off lingerie buyer who finds herself in a bind; she needs cash. Having sold much of her furniture, she goes to work for her cousin Vinnie, who is a bondsman. She convinces him to give her a trial run as a ______ agent aka a bounty hunter.

Imagine Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality. She’s clumsy, quick-witted and talks to her pet hamster. The book really pulls you in when these “easy” cases turn into life or death situations. Plus, the sexual tension between her and another character is palpable. It’s a quick read that will leave you LOLing. I’m already on the third book!

Recommended: A co-worker was telling me about a The Road by Cormac McCarthy. I mentioned that I enjoyed disturbing books and was quickly given a copy. It’s a post-apocalyptic tale about a father and son. I’ve been told it has some very disturbing, even nightmare-causing moments, but still offers hope. From what I’ve read, it seems like it’d be very easy to get attached to these characters.

The book is written differently than most others. There are no chapters, which makes it difficult to find a good stopping point. There are also no quotes, so sometimes it’s difficult to notice when they’re talking versus the narrator. I haven’t hit the scary parts yet; it’s taken me a while to really get into this book. I’ll let you know how it goes!

Upcoming: Teasing Secrets From The Dead by Emily Craig

I love that my mom doesn’t think I’m weird for enjoying books about dead people. I also love that she thinks of me while reading them. Thanks mom! I’m really looking forward to reading this book about famous crime scene investigations. She’s already told me a bit about it and I think anything with cadaver labs is right up my alley!

What are you reading right now?

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***

At the beginning of the semester I purchased books for nearly $700. Today I went to return said books. I nearly skipped all the way to the bookstore because I knew I’d be getting at least half of that back. I risked my life skipping on the snowy ground – seriously UIC, shovel and salt that shit okay?

I go to the bookstore, hand the kind sir my books and he takes them all and hands me a fat wad of cash. I continue skipping out of the store… Wait, wait…that was all in my head. What really happened was he took ONE book, handed me $84 and sent me on my way.

I was confused. I still had books in my bag. Convinced that he was confused I questioned his decision. “Kind sir, I’d like some more money in my hand and less books in my bag.” I was then lectured on how the school only accepts so many of a certain book and perhaps I should have come earlier. Um..it IS early!

Then I kicked him in the face, called him a sucker and left…Wait…that was in my head, too. With three books in my bag and my head hung low, I left the store with $84 in my hand. You might argue that I’m $84 richer, but I’m a glass half empty kind of gal – I’m $616 in the hole.

*Yeah, that’s me stealing back my money.

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No, it’s not really my birthday, but I just did a bit of birthday shopping. The man friend gave me a gift certificate so I could knock down my wish list on Amazon. Want to see what I got? Sure you do!

Like I’m really going to resist adding this to my DVD collection?

Queen of Babble in the Big City by Meg Cabot. I haven’t read any of her others books and thought I should start somewhere.

How Not to Write: An Office Primer for the Gramatically Perplexed

The Personal Organizing Workbook

Final Exam: A Surgeon’s Reflections on Mortality by Pauline W. Chen

Thanks man friend I’m already having a difficult time deciding which one I’m going to read first!

Tell me, what’s on your wish list?

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I was excited and nervous on the first day of BlogHer. I wasn’t sure what to expect and I was really nervous about live blogging for the first time EVER! Vanessa and I arrived and peeked in at Jamie at the registration desk. She was busy and we were hungry so we headed to the main room for some breakfast. The room was lined with tables representing various companies all eager to speak with bloggers about what they do and hand out some free samples and products for us to try out. My favorite was the Wii area. They had two Wii Fits available for people to try out as well as a few Nintendo DS stations.
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Before the break-out sessions began we played a round of speed dating for bloggers. You’d start with a group of bloggers at a table and after a few minutes, two would leave and go to a new table. It was a great way to meet some of the other BlogHers.
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The first session I attended was DIY Content Syndication and Promotion. The live blog can be found here, if you missed it. It was a very interesting session and I’m excited about applying the information I learned to my current blogs and future blogs. I spent nearly an hour after the session editing it so it would be readable! That took a toll on my eyes. I ended up taking a break by Jamie at the registration desk.
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There was a bookstore at BlogHer and naturally I was drawn to it like a moth to a flame. I ended up spending a little over $100 on books. Why couldn’t I just pick one?! I purchased Moose by Stephanie Klein (one of my blogging heroes!), Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler, I Was Told There’d Be Cake by Sloane Crosley, No One Cares What You Had For Lunch by Margaret Mason, and Ultimate Blogs by Sarah Boxer.
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All very great books that I’ve been looking forward to reading. Expect reviews, especially on the blogging one. There was a table full of books related to blogs from inspiration to monetization and publicity. I’ll try to get a list of titles in case any of you would be interested in reading them.
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We also went to the Twenty-something Blogger meet-up. There were a lot more of us than I expected. We were well represented there. If only the entire 20SB community could have gone. That would have been awesome.
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I was feeling worn out so I grabbed Vanessa and Jamie and we went to Boudins at Fisherman’s Warf for some sourdough pizza. It was delicious, but it was WAY too eff’in cold. I bought a few souvenirs for people back home and looked longingly at Alcatraz in the distance. I really wish we had time to visit it. Le sigh. Our next stop what Ghirardeli so we could buy some chocolate. You’ll be happy to know that I came home with a bag full of random flavors. Not that you’re surprised, but we also stopped for some cupcakes at Kara’s Cupcakes. They were incredible. I’ve never run out of cupcake before frosting before.
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We missed out on the party at Ruby Skye that night. We needed a night to stay in and rest. I think traveling and the conference were very overwhelming. Plus it gave blog addicts like us a chance to catch up on a few blogs before passing out.
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Day Two was just as awesome. After sleeping in a bit, and consequently missing breakfast resulting in me paying $8 for a fruit cup & OJ, we started off the day at the Cafepress table. We really were after some awesome T-shirts, but I was easily sucked into signing up for a free year of a premium store. Sweet.
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Before attending any break-out sessions I made it a point to meet Stephanie Klein at her book signing. She’s one of my favorite authors. I really loved Straight Up and Dirty. I remember reading it while in ATL and nodding along because I felt the same way sometimes.
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Day two was busy. Not only was I live-blogging two sessions, but there were like four others I wanted to attend as well as a Chicago bloggers meet-up. I started the day with Building traffic via content and community. It was by far one of my favorite sessions. I have a lot of notes on this one as well as some helpful links. I’ll make that into a separate post.
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From there I went to live-blog “Coming Out” via blog. The women in that session were beyond incredible. They were sincere, raw and amazing. The entire room was proud to be there, I could tell.
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I zipped on over to catch the end of There’s More to Monetization than Advertising. I heard this was a really helpful and interesting session. I haven’t had a chance to review the live blog, but I imagine it’s pretty awesome.
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The session I was most looking forward to was Blog to Book Redux. The panel was made up of bloggers turned authors. I was surprised how many people in the audience were either published or working on a book. I felt like I should have taken more away from this session than I did. I think I was overwhelmed. Hopefully re-reading the live blog will help it sit better with me.
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Jamie and I headed over to the Chicago Bloggers Meet-Up. There weren’t too many of us, but they were all new faces, for me at least. I was a bit disappointed because the session quickly turned into a Mommy Bloggers in Chicago session. As a 20-something, childless woman, I couldn’t really relate to what was being said.
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I think that concludes the sessions I attended. I’m still catching up on the live blogs of the ones I missed. Be sure to check them out here.
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Stay tuned for blogging the keynote with Dooce & Stephanie Klein, the Macy’s after party and our wine fail video.
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That I really enjoy reading Shakespeare. It’s a little known fact that this awesome blogger has a small obsession with Big S. True story. We go way back.
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In my freshmen English class in high school I was that obnoxious student. The teacher made me sit up by her desk because she didn’t want me fiddling around with things in my backpack or giggling with the person next to me. I don’t know why I was such a goof in the class. I was extremely shy and quiet everywhere else.
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One day she announced we would be reading Romeo & Juliet. Not only would we read it, but we would act it out. She thought she was teaching me a lesson by assigning me the part Romeo. Perhaps it was because we were in an all-girls school and everyone wanted to be Juliet. Or maybe it was because she wanted to hear me butcher one of Shakespeare’s most famous tragedies. I’ll never know for sure. What I do know is I was the best female Romeo my school has ever seen the likes of! I even cut a sword out of cardboard for a dramatic effect. I don’t know why.
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At one point, Miss Juliet was sucking all of the beauty out of the balcony scene and she let me play both Romeo and Juliet. That was awkward, yet entertaining as I would run up on a desk as Juliet and jump down as Romeo. It would continue throughout the scene. She never gave me a cool part after that. Either she loved it so much she didn’t want to ruin the memories that would be etched in her mind forever or she hated it and wanted me to stop torturing people. Either way, I enjoyed it.
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I haven’t read Shakespeare since high school. Last night at the library (Free books!) I picked up Hamlet, Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet. I should have gotten something I haven’t read yet like As You Like it or The Twelfth Night, but these are classics and I enjoyed them so much the first time around. I figured I might appreciate them more now. Plus, I kind of want to have a “moment” with my mirror as I belt out Hamlet’s “To be or not to be” speech. Yeah. I’m that kind of girl.
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Shakespeare: Yay or Nay? If Yay, which comedy or tragedy do you like the best? If Nay, what the eff is wrong with you? No. I kid.
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I bid you adieu!

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Last night Jamie and I went to Barnes and Nobles for the release of Jen Lancster’s new book, “Such a Pretty Fat.” Jen Lancaster was there for a reading and to sign books. I’ve only been to one reading before and it was a small intimate affair. This. Was nothing like that. There were soooooo many women there. I think even Jen was blown away.
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Wait, before I get to the rest of the story, let me tell you that Lincoln Park has something against me parking there. Why can I never find a spot? I actually had to pay $10 to park by the bookstore. I think that’s ridiculous. Lincoln Park better get with it! Moving on…
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Jen came out followed by her husband, Fletch, who does not look anything like I imagined. She was wearing a very cute black and white polka dot dress. She read a chapter about her experience with yoga and shopping while on Ambien. She speaks just like she writes, or writes just like she speaks. She was very entertaining and engaging. I didn’t mind that I was surrounded by more than 100 women who would gladly smash me just to get her autograph.
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After the reading and Q&A session we all lined up for her autograph. I think we spent at least an hour if not more in line. How did we entertain ourselves you ask? By reading the most random books. Did you know there is a book out there called “Big Black Penis?” I could not make this up. There is also a book with a lime green cover and the word “Slut!” slapped on it. It’s pretty obnoxious. What section were we in? Women’s Studies! Ridiculous.
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Finally it was our turn. I did a little happy dance as I shimmied my way up to her table. “Hi, I’m Jenn, the “Googler.” She laughed and signed my book “The Google Stalker.” Jamie asked if she’d be going to BlogHer this year and sadly she will not be. But! On the bright side, her and one of my other favorite authors, Stephanie Klein, will be at Printer’s Row on June 7th. Who will be there? Me of course! And my trusty sidekick, The Justifier, a.k.a. Jamie.
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I love that Jen is a blogger turned book author. She definitely doesn’t let the success go to her head. When asked what’s changed since her books have come out she responded, “I get more mail now.” She’s also working on two more books. Yay!! If you haven’t read any of her books, I strongly recommend you do. They’re pretty easy reads and a lot of fun.
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When I got home, I noticed I had a package waiting for me. Aw yay I like packages. A very sweet blogger sent me some breakup books and a chocolate frog/prince. It was very sweet and I can’t wait to get started on the books. Thank you muchly Kristen!!
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Pay It Forward winners, don’t worry! I haven’t forgot. I ordered some things online and I’m waiting for them to get here so I can mail out your packages.

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I recently finished reading The
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Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella. It’s a story about one of London’s top lawyers who, due to a scandal at work, gets fired and unintentionally becomes a housekeeper.
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Predictably she falls in love, is faced with a big decision, and at the last minute chooses love. Yada, yada, yada. Happy ending for everyone! Samantha, having no domestic skills whatsoever struggled as a housekeeper. The kitchen utensils and appliances were foreign to her. She often fought with the washing machine. Cooking? Yeah not happening.
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While reading about her adventures in hired help land, I came up with a list of reasons why I couldn’t be a housekeeper.
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The Top Three Reasons Why I Could Never Be a Housekeeper

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3. I’m a snooper. I’d be too tempted to go through people’s drawers and cabinets. With my luck, I’d disover that the Mr. was cheating on the Mrs. How would that be good for my conscience?
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2. I’d probably eat their food and forget to throw away the wrappers or clean up my mess. Coming home to dirty dishes in the sink AFTER the maid was there probably will get me fired.
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1. I’d spend more time lounging on their comfy couches, rocking out with Rock Band or crying over reruns of The O.C. than cleaning.

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Wallflower at the Orgy by Nora Ephron.
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Intern: A Doctor’s Initiation by Sandeep Jauhar.
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These will make a lovely addition to my bookshelves. I find that it is so difficult to walk into a bookstore and not leave with something. It’s also hard to put books down. I often end up carrying four to five books at a time trying to talk myself out of buying at least two of them. I try to remind myself to write down the names, go home and find them on Amazon. I don’t mind used copies. But sometimes I just haaave to have a certain book right then.
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Some will ask, “Jenn, if you read so many books, why not save some money and get a library card?” To this I would reply, “Because.” I like to own books. I like to write in the margins and fold the top corner of a page with a quote I like. I enjoy highlighting. I also like to give the book to someone who I think would enjoy it when I’m done. And to be quite honest, I just like seeing my bookshelves filled But I appreciate that person being so concerned about my finances.
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Please keep your fingers crossed for the following reasons:
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1. I have my NCBTMB exam on Monday. This is the test that will allow me to get my massage therapist license.
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2. I mailed in my application for an internship with a coroner’s office today. I want it. Badly.
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3. Da Bears will have another year with Grossman. Say goodbye to the Superbowl now Chicago. Bye-bye ::waves::
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Good vibes people, good vibes!

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Update: Jen Lancaster will be in Chicago promoting her new book on May 6 at the Barnes & Noble on Webster at 7:30. Check the list for the rest of the cities and dates.
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I just finished reading Bitter Is the New Black by Jen Lancaster and I have to say it was fantastic. I haven’t laughed out loud this much while reading a book since I read “A Dirty Job” by Christopher Moore.
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I love her voice. I think she writes very well and like that she doesn’t try to jazz things up or sugar coat anything. She comes up with the best one-liners. She makes no apologies for her self-centeredness, as she dubs America Jensylvania at the end of her book, humbling electing herself as it’s leader. She’s hilarious and sometimes just downright ridiculous. You can’t help but giggle. She’s selfish and unsympathetic in the beginning but it’s pretty cool to watch her grow and change throughout the book.
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She learned a lot of tough lessons that many people are facing right now and she did it was such style and humor. I love that she entertained herself by spying on her neighbors! During everything she never changed who she was inside and I love that about this author.
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The footnotes she supplied were sometimes funnier than what was going on in the story. And I love that it took place in Chicago. It was awesome being able to picture all the places she’s been.
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I’m looking forward to reading her other books Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority Girl’s Guide to Why it Often Sucks in the City, or Who are These Idiots and Why Do They All Live Next Door to Me? and Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist’s Quest To Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, Or Why Pie is Not The Answer.
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You gotta love the titles she comes up with.

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