Just in case you were unsure of my maturity level, I present you with this:
That would be a photo of the chalkboard in our kitchen. It is me and my fictional manfriend, Edward Cullen. Yeah…we’re holding hands. We’re pretty much in love.
For the record, I am awesome.
I’ll be sure to invite you all to our fictional wedding.
My roommate and I were feeling a little giggly last night. It was one of those Sunday evenings where you don’t want to do much of anything except distract yourself with someone else’s problems and eat an unhealthy meal. I’m pretty sure we accomplished our goal as we didn’t get off the couch until 10 p.m.
So naturally, while in our funk, we decided making a vlog would be a good idea. Am I regretting it this morning? Probably, but it seems entertaining enough.
I don’t know why it’s titled “My First Project.” I’m still learning about iMovie. Also, at one point, my phone rings. It was my mom, not manfriend. And I do care…for the record 
Enjoy and uh, don’t hate me for my goofiness 
I have a feeling that this NaBloPoMo thing is going down the shitter.
Er, I mean welcome to my blog post. Happy Saturday! What did you do today? Me? I had a lovely breakfast of blueberry pancakes with my mother. Sure they came from a mix in a box, but they were tasty!
We then took a trip to Ikea to get some shelves for my wall. I really need to take picture of all of our Ikea purchases because they really make our apartment adorable.
I spent most of the day shopping now that I think about it: Ikea, Lowes, Dollar Tree, Produce World and Wal-Mart.
Let me tell you something about Wal-Mart! It sucks! Seriously. Do you have to be obnoxiously slow to shop there? As we were driving down the aisle, we noticed a guy loading up his car so we put on the turn signal and claimed it as our spot. He and his family putzed around the trunk for a while, probably discussing the cold weather. After getting in his car, he waited at least 2 minutes before turning the damn thing on. Once on, did he immediately back up? No. Sure didn’t.
So after waiting a good five minutes, he finally backed out. We got the spot. Yay.
This post is completely ridiculous.
How do I know this? Because despite my best efforts to “accidentally” be late due to “traffic” I still managed to make it to my first class. Not only did I make it, I was early. I didn’t bring my book with me since I assumed I’d be missing this class so I needed to entertain myself.
I pulled out my one-day-old Sun Times that the manfriend so sweetly purchased for me this morning. Side note: Why am I reading a one-day-old newspaper? Because I can. The more important question is where did said newspaper come from? Apparently Chicago is newspaperless and Wednesday’s Barackorama can only be found on Ebay. That’s not so my periodically-inclined friends. A perk of living in the suburbs is that nobody knows you exist out there. For all they know we’re rolling around in piles of hay and slappin’ our knees at the nightly ho down. The point of this ramble is to say ha! I have a copy of the Sun Times, Tribune and Red Eye with Obama’s mug all of them. It pays to live in the burbs suckers! Moving right along…
So I open my holy grail of a newspaper being sure to eye those around me as if to say, “You touch this paper I will wipe up your blood with your fancy Jansport backpack.” I’m flipping through the pages and reading about politics, feeling super smart, you know…the typical routine with a newspaper. I then come across a story about a panty raid in Dallas. I never do a story justice so I’m going to type it up for you to read.
Panty raid: Man loots 130 pairs at Victoria’s
“DALLAS — A man has proven that you can never have too much underwear when he stole more than 130 pairs of panties from a Victoria’s Secret store. The Dallas Morning News reported online Tuesday that a man snatched $1,067 worth of underwear from a table at the Dallas store Monday. A police report says a female accomplice held open the door during the theft and both sped away in a green car.The report did not indicate what styles or sizes were stolen.”
It’s too bad they added that last sentence in. I was beginning to really care about this story and the safety of the undies until I learned that I wouldn’t be finding out the style or color. Seriously? Does that really matter?! The guy stole (thankfully unused) panties from the store! Who’s going to buy panties from some random guy on the street?! More importantly, had we been supplied with the style and color, are we supposed to go around asking women to show us their undies and if need be, confiscate them for official police business?
This tidbit of randomness has been brought to you by the complete avoidance of work and homework by Jenn’s brain in part with this-will-be-a-good-day-thanks-to-this-news-story.
There is still so much to do! I’m no where near being unpacked. I’m not sure how I managed to get anything done as my mind is being pulled in forty different directions. Apartment is cool. Roomie is cool. Manfriend is cool. I am cool.
Remember to enter my giveaway thingy-mah-bobber.
The week will be a crazy one, but I really hope I can catch up on my reader soon.
With moving right around the corner, I thought it appropriate to share some of my my mom’s infinite wisdom. I asked her to think back to my last (sixteen!) moves and come up with a list of do’s and don’t’s. Together we have created the perfect guide to ensure a successful move.
Once again I’m asking you loyal readers to switch over to Guidespot to check out our tips and laugh a little. What’s in it for you? Well I’m glad you asked. I’m already looking forward to relaxing with a large glass of wine after this move. This got me thinking about the wine tasting I had earlier this summer. I then realized I ordered a gift to giveaway to my readers. I keep putting it off, but not anymore!
Because wine is a vital part of moving, I will give away this ceramic wine trivet:
All you have to do is head over to my guide and leave a comment sharing a moving tip, a funny moving experience or what you most/least look forward to about moving. Only those who comment there will be entered to win. If you don’t have anything to add to my guide, browse around the site and comment or contribute to someone else’s guide. Just be sure to give me the link to your comment!
Thank you in advance for reading and good luck to my wino friends who want this trivet! The contest winner will be announced on Tuesday, October 28th.
Edit: My Moving Tips Guide is NOT a Community Guide, meaning you will not see an “add to guide” button. If the guide is surrounded by red, it is a normal guide in which you can only comment. Those surrounded by green are community guides in which you can comment or contribute. Sorry for the confusion!
I failed at my attempt to work on a Friday night. I needed to begin packing since I’m moving in exactly one week. I managed to get a couple more boxes filled. I’m the type of person who hates seeing her home messy. Having an unorganized room freaks me the eff out. Typically I wait until the last minute to pack, but time is of the essence. What does that even mean?
I accomplished zero homework.
I have a lot of great ideas for writing, but I didn’t choose any of the topics. Because I was feeling particularly uninspired, I didn’t want to waste an article on a topic that could have been much greater. So we’ll see what happens next week.
What did I do? Well, I painted of course. I was in a completely random mood so you get a completely random picture.
I think that maybe a can of frosting would have helped inspired me. That or put me into a sugar-induced coma where I’d frolic among the words of the article I did not write.
What inspires you?
Where I’ve been:
Guidespot: Not Your Average Chicago Food Guide
Must Love Geek: Geekify Your Life
- I sing along with Dashboard Confessional, Tom Petty and Frou Frou in the car.
- I have a big fear of toilets. I put toilet paper down on the seats in my own house! Knowing that someone other than myself is using them creeps me out. Occasionally I’m afraid that I will open the lid and it will be full of bees. Thank you very much Candyman.
- I’m afraid of my basement. Whenever it’s time to go back upstairs I switch off the lights and run as if something is chasing me. I squeeze my eyes shut and hope I don’t miss a step. I can’t look back. Looking into the dark basement is the worse part. It’s not even a small fear. My heart races and my face gets red. This only happens at night though.
- I still have NO idea what I’m doing at any given time.
- I have two pairs of jeans and wear one of the two pairs on Fridays only.
- When I was in preschool and kindergarten, my mom had an impossible time getting me out of a dress and into a pair of pants. Now it’s the complete opposite. For my graduation from massage school I compromised and wore my rain boots with my dress so I could feel a bit more like “me.”
Tell me something I might not know about you.
I really enjoy taking time out of my day to remember the things that I love, but often forget about because of a hectic schedule. My last two love lists (found here and here) were a lot of fun to make. I think it’s a good time to make another one because I’ve been focusing on a lot of negative stuff these last couple of weeks. I’m missing all of the good things that are happening right under my very nose. So here’s Love List #3:
Strawberry donuts, lazy Sunday mornings in bed, original-flavored SunChips, putting together furniture, “Memory,” margaritas, the “cuds/snugs,” honeydew melon, the song “I Love My Canoe” by Troubled Hubble, writing on CDs with Sharpie markers, understanding math and chemistry even for only one day.
School spirit, laughing, listening, clinking of glasses, shish-ka-bobs, decisiveness, hearing “thank you,” the smell of burning leaves, pumpkin-scented candles, non-itchy scarves, cucumber-melon shower gel, new loofas, Bears game buddies, skeletons, long drives, tattoos, alphabet magnets, oil paints. 
The way canvas feels, singing along with Billy Joel, hash browns, the color red, drama-free weeks, low-key weekends, PEZ, thumb wars, body pillows, printers with ink, cute keychains, my mom’s couch, bookends that look like hands, hope, the rattle noise a can of spray paint makes, coloring.
Saving money for a new toy, Chuck Bass, bumble bees, tiny Post-Its, the under-the-sea theme on my webcam, bloggers, rubber duckies, anatomy books, flash drives, Kid Robot, maps, movie stubs, lemons and limes, refunds, rebates, wrapping paper, the way the pages of MacLife Magazine feel.
What do you love?
