The emotional rollercoaster that is my workout

I’m in an abusive relationship with my Wii. There, I said it. It beats me down and I keep coming back for more. It’s kind of like Rihanna and Chris Brown, except we’re both white and neither of us can sing very well. So I guess, when you really think about it, we’re nothing alike.

I’ve mentioned my issues with Wii Fit before. Imagine my surprise when I decided to participate in EA Sport’s Active 30-Day Challenge. I’m pretty sure I was drugged when I bought this. I’ve already tackled WiiFit and don’t even get me started on boxing. I’m crazy. Seriously, watch out. I figured this Active thing couldn’t be that hard. It isn’t too bad. Of course I’m only on day four and have it set on easy.

I have stumbled upon two red flags:

#1 While WiiFit is emotionally abusive, this game lies to me. I could be standing still and my trainer (I named him Frankie) tells me I’m doing amazing. When I’m obviously sucking, I’m doing a great job. When I’m trying really hard, I’m told that I could do better. Even my best isn’t good enough!

#2 It brings back painful memories from kindergarten. We received report cards for stupid tasks like skipping, whistling and jumping. I have no idea how they judged jumping, but I received a B*. This has haunted me and even now, during this game, I’m having a hard time jumping. WHAT THE EFF?! A B?!

If admitting that wasn’t embarrassing enough, I’ve drawn what I look like when attempting a lunge. Jumping lunges can’t even be described by the brush in my Paint program.

Picture 1

What is it about physical fitness that turns me into a complete klutz? Examples can be found here, here and here. It’s like a bad game of Twister minus all the colorful spots and cute boy on top of me.  …what?

* Really? A B?!



The truth about PMS

Brian from Mad Props to Baked Potatoes found me on Twitter yesterday to ask if he could hijack my blog. I read what he had to say and to be honest, I’m a little curious. Only a couple days ago I was telling my roommate how I need a daily dose of hormones in order to not turn into CrazyFace McGee. I went without them for two weeks and she can vouch that I was less than pleasant. So Brian’s email couldn’t have come at a better time.

I’m hoping that some of my female readers can help him out. We all get a little crazy sometimes. I hope that we can laugh at ourselves and take this post lightly. It’s not meant to ruffle any feathers. I am the first to admit that I’m a little crazy – hell, it’s in my tagline!

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First of all, thanks to Jenn for letting me hi-jack her readership. Hopefully this is fun and exciting, and perhaps even really super fun.

The short version of my mission is as follows: I’ve been hired to write a romantic comedy about PMS. Boy meets girl, girl has PMS worse than anyone ever = humor, complications, etc, et al, furthermore.

If it ever gets made, it’s not a movie that will change the world, but throw Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson in there, and you’ll probably get a decent flick that entertains and makes a few bucks.

Now, the story is being told from the male point of view, which is basically, “I don’t understand why you just threw a screwdriver at me for ’standing up too loud’.” (This really happened to me once for real.)

What I want to do is get some insight into the female side of things, and hopefully give this screenplay a fair and balanced portrayal of the whole PMS mystery. Basically, I’ll ask a question, and then you can answer, hopefully with some depth of explanation.

Thanks for doing this – I’m taking this online because I’m not completely happy with the honesty of the real-world answers I’m getting, plus one girl threw a screwdriver at me. (Do all you girls carry screwdrivers in your purses, btw? Is it just the type of girls I’m friends with?)

Let’s begin:

QUESTION: When you’re PMSing, and you’re yelling at us for completely irrational things such as “standing up too loud”, are you aware in that moment that this is not a rational thing to be yelling at someone about? I know that later it’s apparent, but what about while it’s happening? Are there dueling voices in there?



Pumping ze iron

You guys rock. Thank you for all of your geeky suggestions. I’m currently going through all of them and am trying to see what’s available. There’s already so many I love. I think I’m going to have a difficult time choosing. I will announce the winner by the end of the weekend. Oh, the suspense!!
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In the meantime, let me babble to you about my beef with the gym.
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I’m new to the gym. I don’t know all of the ins and outs or any of the rules* for that matter. Ask me how to work a machine? I will laugh in your face. I have no idea what I’m doing. I go there and pretend to look busy. Okay that’s a lie. I have figured out the treadmill** and the bikes. It helps that I’m a people watcher because I have a feeling I’d get bored very quickly prancing along like a gazelle on the treadmill. I’ve noticed that spandex is a favorite at this particular gym. Is it like that everywhere? Why do people wear such tight clothes to the gym? It doesn’t look comfortable at all. Personally I’d like to be comfortable while I introduce my quadriceps to the elliptical machine. Elliptical, meet my quadriceps; Quadriceps, meet shock. And thongs? Really? I had a wedgie today and all I could think about was that wedge.*** I would think a thong would really distract me, but then again I’d probably have to wear it so no undie lines showed through my skin tight pants.
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Then there are some people, women mostly, who get really dolled up to sweat. I’m talking applying make-up in the bathroom pre-workout. I get it. You never know who you might run into at the gym. It just seems like a waste of time to me.
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And finally, sweat. People sweat. It’s natural. It’s expected and encouraged at a gym. But sweet mother of jeebus get some ventilation or air fresheners in there! I don’t know if I was walking next to an extremely sweaty and stinky gentleman or what. But all I know is it was not pleasant.
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I sweat rainbows. Sometimes roses, but mostly rainbows.
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* I can’t eat a donut on the treadmill, what?
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** I’m too afraid to run on the treadmill. Walk, don’t run. Thank you.
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*** Okay fine…and a donut.



Human Body: Pushing The Limits

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Has anybody seen Human Body: Pushing the Limits on the Discovery Channel? I know a couple of you have, mostly because I made you watch it. If you haven’t, you don’t know what you’re missing.
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Squeamish folks: The show is not bloody, gory, disgusting or anything of that nature. All of the skeletons, muscles and tours inside of the body are computer animated. No cadavers were used in the production of this series! All stories are reenacted as well.
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The series has different parts: Strength, Sight, Brain Power and Sensation.
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  • Strength: This episode focused on our muscles and bones. It explained how getting hit over the head saved a young man’s life after being sucked up into a tornado and thrown to the ground. They demonstrated the amount of weight our femurs (thigh bones) can really hold. What’s amazing is the amount of weight we put on our knees when climbing and running. The show also covered the use of adrenaline and endorphins while playing sports and how our bodies can ignore an injury.
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  • Sight: This episode blew me away! I was practically ignoring everything around me and focusing only on the TV, which is a coincidence because this episode explained how our eyes and minds do just that! They also explained how our eyes are tricked during illusions. In one instance, a magican was performing a card trick. He began with a blue deck and by the end of the trick, the deck would be red. While watching the cards, our eyes were completely oblivious to other changes happening all around. By the end of the trick, the deck changed, but so did the table cloth, back drop and the clothes that the magician was wearing.
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  • Brain power: I just can’t wrap my mind around this episode, ha! You really get a sense of just how amazing the brain is while watching this. It’s almost overwhelming. This episode explained how our brains make those split-second decisions that save our life and what sleep deprivation does to us. It also shows us how our brains switch gears when we’re starving or dehydrated. And dreams…oh man! You just have to watch…
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  • Sensation: The best part of this episode was watching the Shaolin monks endure extreme pain without even blinking. It showed how our nerves and pain receptors help us. For example, a woman fell from a cliff shattering her knee, dislocating her hip. She couldn’t move her legs. Her brain sent out endorphins to block the pain receptors from feeling it. Once help arrived, and she calmed down, those endorphins quickly went away and pain kicked it. But it kept her alive until that point. She was able to crawl to a trail because of that. On the other end of the spectrum, a man was bitten by one of those recluse spiders. The pain he felt was from his body trying to protect him. If he didn’t feel pain, he wouldn’t have found the wound on the back of his leg and sought treatment. Amazing.
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  • Plus! It explains how we can move our fingers faster than we can think and what is going on during a polygraph test.
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Check out the website. There is all sorts of fun things on there from human body puzzles and quizzes to interactive guides. You can also pre-order the DVD!
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Seriously, this is such a great show that provides a unique look into the human body. There will be a special encore on Sunday, March 16th starting at 3PM Central time. One of the best parts of the show is how one minute you’re looking at a human and the next the computer-animated skeleton appears and you can watch the bones and muscles work. The gymnasts are fun to watch.
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Not So Fitness Friendly

I’m pretty sure I’ve consumed half of a person my side during the holidays. I ate so much food. Apparently my appetite doesn’t realize the holidays are over. I am always craving something. I’ve been eating a lot lately. I eat until I’m full, which I hate doing. I hate feeling sluggish and bloated. But I like food haha! The worst part is I don’t even pay much attention to what I eat. I’ve never really dieted before. I don’t snack on chips, cookies, fast food or greasy stuff. But I’m not chomping on carrots and celery sticks either. But that will change. I hope to become a bit more conscious about what I’m putting in my stomach.
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I’m not talking about getting all diet crazy. I can’t jump into anything really cause it won’t last. A slow transition works better. Today I bought an exercise ball. I figure I sit at my desk so much, I may as well sit on the ball. I can bounce, roll around and I’m also using different muscle to stay upright and balance on it. I also like doing crunches on the ball better than the floor. Currently I’m bouncing and typing. How much fun am I having?! A lot.
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I’d really like to be able to join a gym. I have no motivation what-so-ever to work out at home. I know that if I’m paying for it, I’d be there every week. But there’s none all too close to my house that make it convenient. And I’m still not ready for fork over $100+ a month for a membership – especially if I can’t walk to it.
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So first step, ball. Second step, stop eating 9 tacos in a span of two weeks. Baby steps :)



I’m one tough cookie!

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Hi folks! Sorry for the lack of posts lately. Despite popular belief, I was not taking a break after NaBloPoMo. Shocking right? On a more unfortunate note, I was sick. It came like a germ storm of fury on Monday night. My fever was too high Tuesday morning and I missed my clinic shift. My fever was still too high, in addition to the crazy winter storm we were hit with, Wednesday morning so I missed a day of school. Finally I took today as a get-out-of-the-sick-funk day. My cough is getting worse, which is making me feel like everything stuck in my chest is breaking up. My fever is gone and I’m feeling better. The lack of energy is from the lack of eating. So that’s why I’ve been away. I just haven’t really felt like blogging plus I had nothing to write about other than the fact that I thought I was dying.During my sick boredom I had time to peruse a few websites while trying to make my Christmas list. While none of these made the cut for my family’s list, I still would like to share them because I think they’re cute and hope to own them all in the future. Hope everyone is keeping warm and healthy!
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I snagged this lovely mug from Life of a Love Child. Isn’t it adorable? I’m not sure where she got it, but I’m keeping my eyes open from now on for one of my very own!

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I love winter hats. I love silly ones even more. I found this set over at David and Goliath tees
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These are also from David and Goliath tees. Tough cookie! I love it
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Another treasure from David and Goliath tees.
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The following items are from Urban Outfitters, I love that store. Hopefully once I get my own apartment again I can get some of this stuff to furnish it with :)

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Braeburn Bentwood Chairs
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Avant-Garde Lamp Shade
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Magnetic Wall Organizer. I love this thing.
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Water Cycle Shower Curtain
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Danish Dot Storage Ottoman
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Ivy Hinkle Wall Art Triptych
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And last but not least:

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A Guster hat and hoodie.



Well Color Me Embarrassed

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I made an appointment with my doctor to get a new prescription for birth control. My prescriptions usually expire yearly and are followed by a routine pap exam. I was expecting the same for my visit today.
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I get undressed and tear that itchy paper gown I’m supposed to wear. I didn’t watch where the nurse got it from, so I put it on backwards so the rip was along my back and not my cleavage. I figured I could tie the front shut tight enough to hide the ladies. Unfortunately it wasn’t hiding much of my hips/legs. I’m covering up as my doctor steps in. She lingers in the doorway for a moment. I thought she was giving me more time to get settled. Wrong.
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She steps in and tells me I wasn’t due for a pap today and smiles. Um…would have been good to know before I was told to undress don’t you think?! Confused I asked when my last one was – you’d think I’d remember this. It was in March. I don’t remember that! Honestly, how do you forget a pap?! Anyway, so she sits and we chat about the prescriptions I need renewed. We also discussed my wrist pain and developed a plan: I will take anti-inflammatories for 2 weeks and if I’m still experiencing discomfort/numbness/tingling, I will have to go in for a test in which needles will poke me to determine if any nerves are impinged. Fantastic eh?
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We discussed this all while I was in my torn, itchy paper gown. I would have preferred to discuss all of that at length while clothed. That’d be swell. My visit wasn’t a total flop though. I was given two Advair disks for free! Plus the anti-inflammatory was free as well! That was awfully nice. They probably felt bad that I was so embarrassed about being naked and disheveled. I’ll gladly accept pity-meds.



Pep Talk

I sneezed seven times today.
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Normally this wouldn’t be a fact that I’d share, but it’s extra special. I usually sneeze once a day, if that. So when the number of sneezes gets close to double digits, I know that something is coming. And by something, I mean a cold.
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This could be that I’ve been significantly stressed out the last few weeks. It could be because I don’t have a good winter jacket and walked around East Lansing a crap load without proper gear. It could be that I go outside sans jacket and hat. It could also be that I spent the weekend with two young children who seemed to be getting sick or getting over being sick.
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No matter what the reason, I’m convinced something funky is going on inside my body. What my body doesn’t realize is that I simply can’t afford to get sick right now. I know that I’m due and tis the season, but look at my calendar. Between work, clinic shifts and school I have very little free time to spend being sick. It doesn’t help any that my health insurance expires on Friday. And honestly, I’d rather not be sick when I don’t have a cute guy to take care of me. And while I know he loves me, I doubt he’d fly here for a cold :D
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So body, you’re not getting sick. You just think you are. You were trying to trick me but I’m onto you now. No sickness. No way. I could possibly squeeze something in after January 5, 2008, so if you could just hold off, that’d be great.
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Holy Thighs O’Fury!!

Hello and good evening!
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All day at school I’ve been thinking about things to write about and I have a small list on a Post-It. But now that I’m sitting in front of my computer I can’t focus on just one idea and go with it. So I’ve decided to talk a bit about school and my challenges today.
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We started our Shiatsu class today. Shiatsu is deeply rooted in traditional Chinese medicine. For the past 11 months my education has been very Western-medicine-centered. Today I was told to forget everything I had learned that could be proven scientifically and go into this class with a very open mind. What they should have told us to do is to come into this class having stretched.
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Contrary to popular belief, I am not flexible what so ever. (And for the record, nobody believes I am flexible. I just wanted to start this sentence with something nifty.) Prior to getting our partners down on their mats, we did some warm-up exercises called Makka-Ho exercises. These basically opened up the meridians, or pathways, for my chi, or energy, to flow through. Since I’m very anatomy/physiology minded, I compared chi and meridians to blood and blood vessels. It made it easier to get through class this way.
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Anyway, there is one such pose where we stand with our feet shoulder-width apart and clasp our hands behind our backs with our index fingers pointed out. We then bend from the waist allowing our heads to fall to the floor and our pointed fingers fly up in the air. This is supposed to open up our Lung and Large Intestine Meridian. Oi. My hamstrings were not happy with that. I tried every so hard to get my knees to remain straight while trying to bring my arms as high as I could. An instructor walked by and recommended I do more stretching.
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I was one of the most non-flexible people in my class. I watched all the yoga-goers bring their head in between their legs with envy. This made me think that I should really try out that Bikram Yoga The Missus loves so much. One day! Back to the story.
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During Shiatsu, our client is on the floor and we spend all of our time on our knees or seated on our heels. During our work my knees were popping like a can of Pringles. At that moment, I did not feel 23. I had the joints of a 60-year-old. After working for about 30 minutes, I tried standing and holy hell folks! My quads and hamstrings are like “eff off!”
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Shiatsu, while a very interesting modality and something I can see myself enjoying, is definitely much more physically demanding than any type of massage I’ve learned so far. I know see why they’ve waited until the last 5 weeks of school to teach us this. I have every intention of finding some continuing education classes though. I think this type of work can truly be beneficial. I need more than 4 classes worth of training to really grasp it though.



Please Don’t Sneeze On Me

Cold and flu season is coming! Instead of baracading yourself inside your house, take a look at this blog. I felt it appropriate to write about some prevention tips since I could see my breath outside this morning. It was also a staggering 34 degrees when I left the house. Hot damn! Winter’s a’comin!
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First things first. Prevention can always start with self-care. Nobody else is going to help you avoid a cold.
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1. Drink plenty of fluids – it’s important to keep your body hydrated and be sure it’s receiving the proper nutrients and vitamins. Without em, our immune systems wouldn’t be strong enough to fight off any type of infection.
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2. Increase rest and sleep. This one almost seems impossible these days eh? Make an effort at least. Once again this plays a big role in the proper functioning of our immune systems.
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3. Wash hands often. This is just common sense. Whether it’s cold season or the middle of July. Just wash your hands. You’d be surprised how much bacteria you contract from every day activities.
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4. Keep stress under control. Ha! This goes along with increasing rest and sleep. The more we stress, the more our body stresses. Stress causes us to become run down and ragged, thus weakening our immune system. Imagine a rubberband. Pull on it and let it go. It will snap back to it’s original self. Well now pull on it for a long period of time a few times a day. Over time you’ll see the elasticity of the band wears and is no longer able to snap back to it’s typical self. (Bad example eh? Deal with it!)
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5. Keep your hands away from your eyes, nose and mouth. Try it for a day. When you focus on not doing it, you’ll realize just how often you actually touch these parts. These are the main “open doors” for germs. Wanna keep them out? Don’t ring their bell!
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Not sure if you have a cold or the flu? Here are a few symptoms that should help you distinguish between the two.
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COLD
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- Fevers are rare
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- Headaches are rare
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- Slight aches, pains
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- Possible feeling of fatigue
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- Stuffy noses are common
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- Sneezing is common
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- Sore throats are common
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- Chest discomfort is mild to moderate
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FLU
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- Fevers are usually high (102-104)
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- Headaches are common
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- Aches, pains are usually common, often severe
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- Fatigue can last up to 3 weeks (yikes!)
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- Usually will experience extreme exhaustion at beginning of illness
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- Stuffy noses – sometimes
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- Sore throats – sometimes
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- Chest discomfort is common, can become severe
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Seek medical advice if:
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- You have difficulty breathing
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- You feel faint
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- Your sore throat is severe
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- You have a cough that produces a ot of phlegm (especialy if colored green or yellow – EW)
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- Your fever is 102 or higher with a cold or 104 or higher with the flu
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- You have a fever with shaking chills
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- You have a sharp chest pain when you breathe deeply or cough
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Find yourself having one of the above?
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Be sure to rest, drink fluids, gargle with salt water if a sore throat is present. Use chicken soup to break up congestion, and avoid tobacco and alcohol.
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Currently:

excited about florida.
worried about getting sick.
reading Helter Skelter
creating awesomeness.
loving handmade blankets.
hating my lack of motivation.
wondering if ladybugs have tongues.
craving peaches.
listening to ben kweller.
watching californication.
netflix-ing dexter.


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