I Am Man. Hear Me Shop With You.

Guess who’s back!? Yeah that’s right it’s me, Alex Roda! The guy nobody wanted to discuss video games with last time he was here. Ok maybe a few people did but the majority of you are slackers. That’s right I said it.

By the way, I figured this time I’d go with a tough guy routine to get people to discuss. Otherwise I will crush you with my pinky. Now then, let’s get down to business. Today I’d like to comment on how to shop for your significant other. This is very important because with the major shopping holidays just around the corner, you’re going to need gifts that will wow your partner. Since I’m such a tough guy, obviously, I’d suggest going into the stores guns blazing. Like literally. It makes everything you buy much cheaper. I would know because I’ve totally done that before, like when I’m not pumping iron or drag racing, no big deal whateva.

Ladies, you might find yourself shopping for men and here’s a clue. Guys like toys.  It’s the shameful truth, we like anything that will entertain us and it’s pretty much just as simple as that.  A favorite TV series, video games, or maybe even Pokemon action figures.  I just heard about that last one from a friend though.  Clothing might seem like an obvious choice but men are very specific in what they’ll wear.  I know, I’m pretty sure I’m a guy.  Also, I know gift cards get a bad rap, but I like them and I’m pretty sure everybody who receives one likes it too.  You seriously can’t go wrong with a gift card and I wouldn’t be afraid to use it as a last resort.

Now to my male readers who have stayed with me this long, you need to take your girl shopping and be prepared to spend time in the stores.  It’s a proven fact you know, men go in and get out, and women like to explore and look at different things.  I’m actually in the latter group for some reason.  Depends on the store (I’m all about Claires).  But men, be prepared for this.

Complete glee.  Honestly I don’t think anything would make a man’s significant other happier than going shopping with them.  Just enjoy the ride, it’s kind of like a safari.  Except instead of elephants you get shoes and instead of penguins you get dresses.  Actually when you think about it like that, it doesn’t seem like a very fair trade off does it? Maybe you and your significant other should just go to the zoo.  You’d probably spend way less money and have way more fun.  Watching other people shop is a lot like being at the zoo though.

Guys, be prepared for women to try everything on, and I do mean everything.  Girls like to hold things and question their beauty, as opposed to the guy standard of grab and go.  I’ve become and expert of judging my girlfriend’s clothes she tries on.  I can decide whether it’s “buy-worthy” or not in seconds.  I do have the habit of saying “yo dawg that looks great but it’s just a little off tonight”.  Don’t judge me. I don’t watch American Idol anymore.  The funny thing I don’t get about going shopping with a girl is that they try on 50 different things and then don’t end up buying anything!  I’m not saying I get it, but men, be ready.

You may not think so, but men and women are a lot alike.  Both want gifts for the holiday, even if they approach it differently.  Men and women both breathe oxygen whether you believe it or not.  We both smile when we receive presents. We both get divorces…….and then get remarried.  I should probably put it out there that I’m 20 and not getting hitched for some time.  Maybe tomorrow, we’ll see.  In the end, you probably just want to have fun and enjoy the Hanukk- er I mean holiday spirit.  So have a blast with your hubby/wifey, go shopping together, buy me something, and enjoy this amazing time of year!

I came here for the second time to write a blog and kick butt, and unfortunately my fingers are tired of typing.