…My only motivation for working out is that some day, some one some where is going to see me naked.
(Happy Monday to you too!)
I’m trying to get in a new routine where I spend 25 minutes every morning tucking and toning before completely reversing it with my syrup-heavy breakfast. And by tucking and toning I totally mean bitching and moaning because this routine sucks. Okay, maybe not the WHOLE routine, but one part specifically makes me hate life. Allow me to introduce you to The Plank (dun dun dun!)
I’m an overachiever. I’ve accepted this and realized there is little I can do to fix that. So when the new routine calls for 20 seconds in The Plank (dun dun dun) position I go for 40, because, well, I’m better than that. Also? I’m an idiot.
It starts off fine. I’m balanced. I can totally handle this.
Ten seconds in my toes start to crack. It’s cool. They always do that. Twenty seconds in I’m starting to shake a little. Maybe it’s not me, maybe it’s the earth. I am in LA after all.
Thirty-two seconds in I’m convinced that I pulled my psoas muscle (which is ridiculous) and I promise you there is nothing more embarrassing than rolling around on the floor yelling “psoas!” (Pronounced so-as.) I flop over in pain only to realize that the carpet beneath me is just an illusion and I end up bruising my ass (and ego) EVERY morning.
Recap of what I’ve learned this weekend:
- No matter how many times I “oOOoo” and “yeaaaaah” I am NOT a soulful black woman and should cease singing at once.
- The Plank (dun dun dun) is pretty much the devil in fitness form.
- I so have a blog crush.
- Psoas has got to be the weirdest name for a muscle.
- I’ve learned absolutely nothing and will be attempting a 40-second plank tomorrow morning.
Bonus: Can someone tell me why I feel like I have a sunburn?
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Windburn? Dry wind can give you that sunburny feeling. I recommend witch hazel or that Clinique stuff in the pink spray bottle. Moisture mist or something.
Also? Loving the whole “someday someone will see me naked” motivation.
verybadcat´s last blog ..Santa, Darling
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freeandflawed Reply:
December 14th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Thanks for the suggestions
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I wish the “Someday someone will see me naked” mantra worked for me! I can’t seem to get back into working out at all.
I definitely will not be doing the plank though. That doesn’t sound like much fun from what you’re saying.
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freeandflawed Reply:
December 14th, 2009 at 9:05 am
While the plank is an absolute terror, it is quite possibly the best toner ever. Just put a really soft mat underneath you
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Wii Fit makes me do planks and then calls me fat. We should probably go eat tubs of ice cream together.
Alex Roda´s last blog ..Man Vs. Jersey Shore
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freeandflawed Reply:
December 14th, 2009 at 9:05 am
Wii Fit and I have a love/hate relationship. It laughs at me too. Lets go get some donuts.
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I wish the “someone is going to see me naked” mantra worked for me too. But now someone has seen me naked and they still like me. So that’s not going to work anymore!
I also hate working out in the morning. Just can’t do it. Props to you!
Allison Blass´s last blog ..Runaway.
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freeandflawed Reply:
December 14th, 2009 at 9:06 am
Eventually this motivation will die and I’ll have to focus on the fact that I have to see MYSELF naked.
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I think the someone will see me naked one day would def be enough motivation for me lol
Delisha´s last blog ..Best of Blog Challenge 2009 Day 13 #best09
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The plank is the worst. I’ve done it on Wii fit before, and no matter how strong I think I am, I usually crumble like a cookie.
Courtney´s last blog ..Weekend Recap
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freeandflawed Reply:
December 14th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
At least you tried!
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I’ve never actually tried the mantra as a motivator before. I may have to. I’ll start off with 4 seconds in plank. I may not die attempting that.
emma´s last blog ..Best 09: Day Thirteen
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By my accounting, you’re 12 seconds ahead of what your routine calls for. That’s a success in my book! Celebrate with syrup!
Hope´s last blog ..Best Album of 2009
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You feel like you have sunburn when its been raining?
It must be your psoas saying “stop it!”
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Just wait, wait until you are feeling fit and then do side planks…you will actually die a little more ever morning but they kick your fat right off your body!
I’m so lazy i have done no exercise in months and am a tub of lard
PAINT JENN RULES THE WORLD
LizSara´s last blog ..Dear Santa,
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freeandflawed Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Side planks eh? Pretty sure you’re talking crazy
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LOL – “I am in L.A. after all”
Katie K´s last blog ..What I’ve been up to: Photo-taking in NYC!
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Just one more reason NOT to work out – I don’t want to pull my Psoas.
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I am afraid to do exercizes named after wood that will pull muscles I didn’t know existed. You are braver than I am.
Also I just looked up where the Psoas was and holy crap woman why are you doing this to yourself?
nicopolitan´s last blog ..ATTN: North Pole
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freeandflawed Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 8:11 am
I highly doubt that the psoas can be pulled in plank. I’m just a big baby and assume that the tiniest tingling of pain is something horrible.
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i have yet to attempt the plank and now i don’t know if i want to any more, haha.
katelin´s last blog ..Cupcakes and Wedding Dresses!
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Just think — once that someone sees you naked enough, you’ll stop caring about it so much that you can finally revert back to only working out via those morning syrup jug curls!
Jay´s last blog ..It’s the End of the World… as I Know It
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freeandflawed Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 8:10 am
One can only hope!
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some day, some one some where is going to see me naked.
I saw you in a swingsuit once! Does that count as partial motivation?
@mattstratton´s last blog ..Looking Sharp – tips & tricks for getting great photos with your dSLR
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What exactly is one’s psoas?
The Modern Gal´s last blog ..This hurts me more than it hurts you
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freeandflawed Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 8:08 am
It’s a muscle that is probably impossible to pull during plank: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psoas_major_muscle
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Maybe the Plank gave you a sunburn somehow.
Kim´s last blog ..Songs in my Head
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The sunburn probably = windburn. It FEELS like sunburn.
Megan´s last blog ..I’ve Been Busy
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I agree…the plank is wicked!
Ronnica´s last blog ..When I’m 27…
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So I’m pretty stoked to move to California and blame any clumsiness on the earth shaking.
Thank you for giving me something else to look forward to when I relocate!
Ashley´s last blog ..Working From Home
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freeandflawed Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 8:07 am
It’s a really great scapegoat, unless of course, no one else feels the ground shaking. Then they just think you’re nuts when you start yelling “EARTHQUAKE!”
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Those looklike me whenever i attempt to do a sit up, push up, or any crunches in general.
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Didn’t Regis Philbin hurt his psoas? So it’s not entirely unbelievable that it could happen. Though you’re 25 and he’s, well, old…
MinD´s last blog ..SAT, the steroid edition.
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