I have never had a more complicated moving-going experience than the one I had last night.

(I promise this has VERY little to do with the movie itself)

I’ll admit that I go a little crazy pants when it comes to the Twilight Saga. No, I don’t don Team Edward shirts or cry/scream when ANYTHING New Moon appears. But I did buy a ticket to the midnight showing of it. I figure it lessens my chances of running into anyone I know – however, I don’t know anyone here so I probably would have been safe. Anyway!

So I drive to the theater not knowing that it’s in a giant mall. I find the mall’s parking garage, but some how got turned around. Instead of exiting by the kiosks, I find a stairwell that leads me down into a back alley. Smart Jenn. The door, of course, only opens from the inside. So I’m wandering down this back alley thinking about how this would make a funny episode of Criminal Minds when I see cars passing ahead. Convinced that’s where I want to be, I run.

Turns out there’s a theater in front of me. Great! I give the woman my card since I ordered my tickets online and she tells me that I did no such thing. Uh, pretty sure I did because I remember drawing a big red circle around the date on my calendar after buying them. Ugh I’m such a dork. So she tells me that there is ANOTHER theater across the street in the mall. Are you kidding me? Who puts TWO theaters on the same street with only a block between them and similar names?!

So I wander over to that theater, which is impossible to find. You wouldn’t think a 10 theater building would be so hard to find, but it is. I walk behind a large group giving any potential attacker the illusion that I roll with a posse. Idiot. They’re all talking another language and I can’t even eavesdrop during our long walk.

I finally find the theater. The obnoxiously long line out the door gave it away. I channel all the patience in the world and get in line. They herd us along like cattle and point us to the theater, which is already packed by the way. I’m pretty sure people were here at 9 pm. Being a single viewer it was easy for me to find a seat. Take that world!

Of course I picked the seat next to the two most ungrateful girls in the world. They were discussing their trip to France and Venice and actually COMPLAINING about it! What? Was the food not French enough? Oh you couldn’t find your Versache scarf? I’m so sorry. Shut up! Don’t ruin my movie going experience with your stupid banter.

The movie starts. People scream. I roll my eyes. WHY AM I AT A MIDNIGHT SHOWING OF THIS MOVIE?! Just when I start enjoying myself I remember that I have absolutely NO idea where my car is. At 2 a.m. I will be wandering the streets of LA searching for this parking garage. I try to follow a big group out in hopes they parked in the garage, but everyone decided that it would be a GREAT idea to stand in the lobby and chit chat about the ending. NOTE: If you read the book, this should NOT be a surprise to you AT ALL. Man up.

I manage to find the garage, which looks like an eff’in hotel, and find myself in the aisle I parked my car. Except not. It turns out that the ENTIRE floor is labeled 2A. GREAT. So I walk around with my keys waiting to hear my horn honking.

Obviously I made it home. I am not blogging on location. It was an incredibly frustrating night and I’m surprised that I remember seeing the movie. In the future, I will not be going to that theater at night. No way man.

Moral: I should have bought that $2.99 parking app from iTunes. Damnit.

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