I have a big problem. I have a heavy, if on you, will squish you problem. It’s called mosquitoes, or as I lovingly call them, bloodsucking demon insects from hell.
My blood must be very appealing because those BDIs stick to me like glue. They seek me out. If I go stand inside by the door, they come up to the door taunting me with their little stingers.
I’m smarter than they are. I’m short a malaria net, so I found the next best thing. A trench coat. So there I was, looking like a flasher in my mom’s backyard, giggling because I outsmarted a stupid bug.
Look at that proud look on my Painted face. I also lack legs. But I’m a winner*. I could only imagine having to fight off vampires. I have a feeling a trench coat wouldn’t keep them away.
What’s one thing you don’t quite love about the summer?
* I spoke too soon. I wrote this last night and when I woke up, I counted two mosquito bites. Wait…three. Effers!
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Jenn, you’re fucking hilarious!
phampants´s last blog ..Boobs in Ireland
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I hate mosquitoes too. It’s one of the things I like about living in the city, there’s relatively fewer… I’m determined not to move any further west than I am now as I know I’ll be attacked. … I should find my photo from South Africa to show you… I had to go to a free clinic there because of all of my bites…
Rini CS´s last blog ..it’s the simple things: receiving compliments
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I went walking in the woods for literally 5 minutes with the boyfriend yesterday and I have 14 mosquito bites. I just counted. He has none. Wtf?
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I have to say that mosquitoes are my number one summer complaint, too. That, and I’m not a super huge fan of when it gets really muggy and uncomfortable.
Cait´s last blog ..a little bit of this, a little bit of that.
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mosquiitos and bugs are up there on my hate list…
a trenchcoat could keep awy vampires if you hide garlic necklace under
blaez´s last blog ..google friend connect
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I hate mosquitos and the ungodly heat. Don’t make me choose between the two.
Angie´s last blog ..Blueberry-Lemon Tart
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Sunburns. Seriously. I would take a thousand bites over a sunburn. I tend to get them so badly I look like I got dipped in red paint and then I flake. And peel. And you know what? I don’t care how nice your hair is, how big your smile is, how great your outfit is, when you are a burnt, flaky mess.. that’s impossible to hide.
In short, I hate the sun.
brandy´s last blog ..Help Needed
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Def the sweat. I always look so gross by the end of the night.
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mosquitoes love me. I bought that little insect repellant that is in a fan (you wear the fan) and I would take it outside during recess so that I wouldn’t get bit.
It worked, btw.
Ari´s last blog ..Camera excitement and gym pain
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B-12 (one a day,EVERYDAY) Takes about a week to get into your syestem. My Daughter gets attacked. Quarter size bites (allergic reaction?) ANYWAY, instead of 20 bites it’s only like 3. So if you only get 3 maybe you’ll get none
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