Even when I make a grocery list I’ve been known to stray. I’m an unfaithful shopper. Yesterday I was out picking up ingredients to make tacos when I took a stroll down the smell-good aisle. I walked past a display showing my HA! You-won’t-break-me face only to stop. Take four steps back and break. Stupid advertising! I was easily (almost too easily) suckered into buying an Air Wick Freshmatic.
I rationalized the purchase by using my cats. I have two. They occasionally smell. And every once in a while I’m known to burn some popcorn. Okay, why not!?
So I get home and bust that bad boy out. I randomly selected the scent so I was curious to see how my apartment would smell. I slapped in the batteries and can of smell-good and then I waited. I set the timer for 36 minutes. Or 32…? Hm…18? Well whatever. It wasn’t happening immediately so I watched a bit of TV.
Well sweet mother of all things calm that thing should be called Air Wick Freshmatic Heartattack Inducer. EVERY TIME it goes off I jump. EVERY TIME! It’s not a subtle “spriz” of fresh air, it’s more like a fart of fresh air, except it smells much better than a fart. Don’t get me wrong, I like it, but holy crap it scares the bejeebus out of me.
I guess my blood pressure is a small price to pay for a pleasant smelling apartment.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Just think of it as a non-discrete angel fart.
phampantss last blog post..A Brief Note
Reply
I guess the nice smell worth it, righttttt?:)
andharis last blog post..Sunday Lovelist #4
Reply
Haha! I have the same thing in my house and yip! I jump every time it spritzes. It has also been known to wake me up in the middle of the night and then I’m all..”What the fuck was that?”
Reply
I’m like you- I like to try new things all the time.
Reply
This is a shopping curse – I have it too!
Ashleys last blog post..Whoa that’s hot!
Reply
Ahh, I know EXACTLY what you mean.
I was house-sitting for a week, and the owners had one of these hidden somewhere in the house. And EVERY time it went off, I thought some creepy stalker was coming in to attack. True story.
LovelyAnomalys last blog post..Teen is for everybody
Reply
Air Wick freaks me out. Mine goes off randomly so you never… quite… know… when it’s going to hit you next.
Nicoles last blog post..We don’t need no education.
Reply
I’ve used my cats and now my dog as an excuse for many fragrance related purchases in my day.
Kims last blog post..Fear Is A Misunderstood Friend
Reply
Oh man, that’s too funny. The prices we pay for good smelling apartments
Mollys last blog post..lemonade: bitter or sweet?
Reply
We have the industrial version of those things in the bathrooms at work. And I’m always so thankful I’m sitting on the pot when they go off. Because if I wasn’t, I swear I’d pee in my pants. Seriously scary stuff.
SoMi’s Nilsas last blog post..Scenes
Reply
Haha, my ex had one of those. One weekend, when I basically just stayed at his apartment, the thing ran out of freshener. As his first gift in our relationship, he gave me a hammer. Then he handed me the freshmatic. I took it outside, and beat the damned thing to death.
Apparently I like pain, because I plan on getting another one shortly, haha.
Beauty of Arguments last blog post..In Memoriam: Edith Maria
Reply
I’m weird with those fancy air freshner things. I never buy them, but I get all crazy excited when someone else has one and sniff it neurotically. I guess I find them exotic.
Princess Pointfuls last blog post..Fermented grapes and associated debauchery
Reply
he he…you’ll get used to it eventually!
i love mine, but it took me and my dog awhile to get used to the fart noise!
Reply
Oooh, thanks for the warning! I always stand in front of the nice air fresheners and consider them, but then buy the cheapies because I’m… well… cheap. But I was on the verge of getting one like this and you’ve frightened me back to the plain old AirWicks with a nightlight. Sudden noises – even if they aren’t really loud – freak me out.
Rebekahs last blog post..This will solve all of my problems. And maybe make one.
Reply
I’ve wondered about those things and you’ve just answered my question.
Vanessas last blog post..Picture Pages, Picture Pages
Reply
I’m so with you here! I have to limit my shopping because I always find fun things like this. I recommend the Glade scented plug-ins. That’s what I use, and I love how they’re easy to use and work for my whole apartment.
PS my worst habit is the clearance shelves at Target. I can rationalize my way to get soooo many things I don’t need there.
Phils last blog post..I Can Haz Vacation Now?
Reply