Can someone step inside my head and take a look at what’s going on please?
With school over I feel like I’m becoming even more irritated, tired and frustrated. I thought break would be a time of fun and relaxation. Rainbows and lemon drops. Unicorns. But I just feel mad. I guess it’s because now I actually have time to let a thought go through my head.
School this semester was a complete disappointment. I’m not quite finished beating myself up over that. I feel like I need to completely reevaluate my plans, my goals. I hate that. With so many factors depending on other factors if one gets screwed up, so does the rest. Example: affording school depends on taking 15 credits which depends on me passing certain classes to get the ones I need. My car insurance, health insurance and deferred student loan all depend on me having 12 credits. That depends on my work schedule which depends on my boss. Affording to live depends on that job and job number two, both of which I have little time for when I’m trying to pass my science courses.
The upcoming semester should be a bit easier as I’ve spread my classes out a bit and only have three science classes instead of four. But of course, I had to cut my hours at work to do so. Naturally I begin worrying about rent, car payments and bills.
The last few weeks have made it painfully obvious that I’m slacking in the girlfriend department.
A fun evening of drinking and baking cookies turned me into a negative Nancy. I was so frustrated last night for NO reason. I had a good day, too. But I was exhausted by 5 p.m.
I lack energy. All I want to do is stay home after working. And if I didn’t feel so guilty about it, I’d spend an entire day in bed.
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Tequila.
it helps.
Matts last blog post..One more nice deed before I turn into Scrooge
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No one said it would be easy to go back to school. You’re trying your best to manage a bunch of things. A bunch of really stressful things. Don’t be hard on yourself now that you finally have a little time to breathe. In fact, I say don’t deny yourself the rest. Take a few days to unwind. Skip a few parties. I can pretty much guarantee that come next semester, you won’t feel bad skipping social engagements, but you will regret getting rest if you’re still plum worn out. Be good to you.
Nilsas last blog post..Home
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Whoops, that last sentence should read “… you will regret NOT getting rest if you’re still plum worn out.”
Nilsas last blog post..Home
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*HUGS* There’s not much I can say to cheer you up right now, but I can relate to feeling like spending an entire day in bed. Maybe we deserve it?
Mermandas last blog post..Meet the creature
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why shouldn’t you spend a day in bed, you know you’ll be bored by lunch time anyway and end up doing light house type things.
you need to find something that will relax you properly while you’re on holidays because before you know it you’ll be back at school again.
and failing that…Tequila
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I totally know where you are coming from! I am in the same situation after going back for my masters…and things are so, so stressful. The holidays mixed in REALLY doesn’t help, either.
If you can manage, turning your phone, computer, whatever connections you have to the outside world off for a few hours and having some “you” time is something that helps me. But that isn’t always a realistic scenario, either.
hang in there!
Rays last blog post..Christmas in Florida
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you need the blue bird of happiness *wink*
(You’ll understand that wink later)
Rachel M.s last blog post..Funny and Serious
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It sounds like a serious case of frustration, because you’re doing so much at once, it’s hard to do it all as well as you’d like. Plus, it gets to the point where it just gets to be soup, and you get overwhelmed. Don’t know what advice to give you, other than I’ve been there, and the cycle will turn somehow, sooner or later. Here’s hoping for sooner.
verybadcats last blog post..The Many Faces of VBC
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Hey, quit beating yourself up! It might take you a little while to process everything and feel relaxed even though school is over for now–decompression time. Take care of yourself, rest as much as you need to and don’t feel bad for doing it.
Kates last blog post..Movie Quiz!
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hope the weekend brings you a break that you so very much deserve.
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I remember this feeling quite well. As an undergrad, I was very overwhelmed and was always disappointed to find out that when I finally had time to slow down, all the stressful thoughts I had been ignoring found their way to the forefront.
The best thing I could do for myself was to decompress. I felt guilty staying in bed all day, but it actually helped me to slow down and pace myself.
Hang in there!
xo,
Jacqueline
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We all go through bad phases Jenn. Please don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s only human.
I’ve actually been in awe of how much you have taken on of late. I couldn’t do it myself. It’ll get better.
And just remember – you are awesome. Simple as that.
Paulas last blog post..THE TALE OF THE MISCHIEVOUS LITTLE ELF . . .
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I would like to wrap you up in a very big hug. I know EXACTLY what this feels like from when I was still in school and my heart really does go out to you.
Truly.
Deutlichs last blog post..365 Days Down
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Stupid backwash of mind numbing thoughts taking over at the first chance. Sheesh.
We need to meet up and have an iphone dork night so I can give you those iHappy apps
Drews last blog post..Never Con An Honest Person
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Ugh. It feels like a big tangled mess sometimes, doesn’t it? Still, try not to be too hard on yourself (spoken from the master of beating herself up). You can’t change this semester, but you can learn what not to do in the new year, which it sounds like you are doing, and take the time to enjoy the holidays like you deserve to
Princess Pointfuls last blog post..Things I’ve done in the past 3 days that make me feel at least 10 years younger
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I’m sorry that things aren’t great right now. I’m thinking of you from down south. I love you, Jenn!
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