Guest post

Call me Drew, call me a geek, call me a freak for all I care! Either way, this post is not going to score me any points with the ladies due to the European nature of the topic. Perhaps this post will brand me very guy-esque, but that’s the risk I am going to take in order to spread a little hygienic knowledge and proper etiquette in my euro-centric water closet.

In all fairness, new guy at work initially brought up the idea, and being impulsively curious I just ran with it. About a week ago I was sitting at my desk eating some Swedish Fish when new guy asked me if I have any experience with bidets. Like most Americans I responded with a suspicious no, not quite knowing where he was going. Oh but he was diving down deep and the Swedish Fish were not coming. Nothing like getting to know your new co-workers than with a conversation about cleaning up after a toosee.

Regardless of the details I am sparing you, I decided to research the subject more thoroughly. After all, just about every other country east of us has jumped on the bidet wagon. So like any good researcher I started with wikipedia, moved to google and finished on ebay. Somewhere in there I read lots of engaging information, including an interesting dog dun example. Whatever the reason, I decided to take the plunge with new guy claiming to follow suit if I had a successful experience.

Lucky for me, the cheap 15 dollar bidet turned out to be a positively cleansing experience with only a minor flooding incident during installation (don’t tell the landlord.) However, I have realized that many of my house guests will not know what the thing is attached to the toilet! So I decided to create a Bidet Etiquette post-it for when you need reading material on my jon. Since bidets are catching wind in America, I thought it would be a good idea for me to share my post-it with everyone so you can not only be prepared for my spectacular loo, but your neighbors head aswell.

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19 Comments so far
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The attachment is a little hard to read on my work laptop, but this is still excellent. I like the last few lines, lol!

Reply

I have a list of 101 uses for a bidet. Not one of them is for washing myself. That skeeves me out.

Toosee is a clever term, 4 points for that. You lose a point for a cold water bidet though.

Dan Mega = 15 points just for being him.
Drew = 16 points for being a guest minus 1 for the cold water plus 4 for using toosee. Lose a point for using the word plunge in a piece about a bidet and making me wonder if one would have to plunge a bidet. But, you gain six points for being funny and making me think of smurfs for no reason other than the fact that I think about them all the time and attribute points to just about anyone for that. So, yes, you win points with this lady.

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Wow. That was educational! Uh… thanks for the information.

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Wow I can’t believe you actually bought one! Did you tell your coworker!?

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@ DanMega, Glad you enjoyed it! I actually had a hard time converting the image to something wordpress friendly… and I admit its a doozie on the eyes.

@ Ladyrock13, Points! Me? I’m touched. Cheers! Btw, I have a small holding tank on order keep the water at or above room temperature. A cold bum has been no fun.

@ Jane, Your Welcome! You’ll be amazed at when the information will come back to help you.

@ LJ, My coworker had to come over and see it today… he is now in a bidding war for one on ebay. It’s contagious.

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haha this is too funny– my best friend’s boyfriend has a bidet, but she’s too scared to try it out. I’ll have to give her your instructions.

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I gots to get me one of those

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Each time I’ve been in a foreign land, I’ve been too afraid to try it. I’ll have to reconsider. Maybe.

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Nice and usefull post, thanks, this is one for my bookmarks!

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