I realize that not many of my female readers care about this, so I apologize.
Why ‘Da Bears’ should keep Caleb Hanie as a quarterback:
1. He’s the only QB who seems to know how to throw a pass. (He completed his first six passes and finished 12 of 17 for 115 yards. This may not seem impressive, but it’s better than Rexy & Neckbeard’s performances.) Orton only completed 4 of 7 passes for 51 yards…tsk, tsk.
That would be Neck beard under pressure, just before he threw an interception
2. He’s the only good looking QB they’ve got. Don’t get me wrong, Rexy has his “sexy rexy” moments, but Neck beard? Seriously? There’s nothing attractive about that. (His beard doesn’t boost his magical football powers, sorry Dan.)
3. He would have had a 23-yard touchdown if rookie right tackle Kirk Barton didn’t rack up a holding penalty, which made the TD not count.
4. What about the 38-yard pass down the right sideline to Rideau?
5. Even the announcers agree that he doesn’t look pressured out there. One even went as far to say that Hanie made him feel relaxed. It’s a little odd, but I like the lack of stupid facial expressions and scrambling foot work.
6. For once it’s nice not to have your QB boo’ed by your own team.
7. His nickname could easily be herpe or hymen, which would make me feel a bit better when we’re losing.
8. He’s cute. (What? I’m a girl.)
Lovie, baby, let’s really think about who we’re putting on the field next Sunday when we play the Colts. Do you remember the Colts? Perhaps this will refresh your memory. I found it odd that when asked if they were worried about the season opener against the Colts, every player said no. Um…are you guys watching the same games I am?
The defense is still a huge concern. “Peyton Manning is probably foaming at the mouth in anticipation after another poor performance by the Bears defense.” Uh…yes. Can you blame him?!
Playing only the first quarter Thursday night, the Bears’ No. 1 defense allowed the Browns to amass 123 total yards and 10 first downs while possessing the ball for 11:05. Cleveland picked up five first downs on each of its first two drives, leaving the Bears searching for answers.
It’s not looking good fellas. At least give us a QB who can actually move the football. However, please throw it to someone other than Garrett Wolfe because apparently he’s not very good at moving it. Throw a few more passes, stop running up the middle. The other team is onto you.
In conclusion, I expect more from you. Spend a little less money on the “One City, One Team” campaign and buy yourselves some excellent players. Oh…and put Hanie in more.
Sincerely,
Jenn
P.S. Thanks for winning last night. It’s nice to know we’re not complete failures. Thank you Robbie Gould.
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m so glad football season is among us!
(even if I’m more of a college girl myself)
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Yay Robbie Gould. He’s from Penn State, don’t ya know?
I’ll make the Bears my official NFC team this year. Here’s to a Steelers – Bears Superbowl.
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Who do you think would win – Ditka…or a Hurricane.
What is the name of the hurricane was Hurricane Ditka?
I love football more than anything else in the universe.
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uh huhuhuhuh…uhuhuhuh…
you said Herpe…
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i didn’t appreciate the bears winning last night.
nope not at all.
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Robbie Gould was a consistent contributor to my fantasy team last year. Unfortunately, someone lapped him up this year before it was my turn to pick.
Being a fan of SEC football, I can say with confidence nothing good ever comes out of Florida.
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DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BEARS DA BEARS DA BEARS DA BEARS DA BEARS DA BEARS DA BEARS DA BEARS DA BEARS – Oh Craaaap – he’s havin a heart attaaaack.
Hahahaha. Couldn’t help myself.
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That whole post went waaaaaayyyyy over my head . . . what can I say, I’m not the best defender.
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I don’t follow sports, least of all football, but I heartily agree that the guy is cute.
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Robbie Gould is totally my boyfriend. My friend had his jersey made for me back in ‘06 and it’s my favorite piece of sport-wear that I own.
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Well all I could read of this entry was blah-blah-blah-la-la-la-wa-wa-wa-blah-blah-blah-la-la-la-wa-wa-wa.
Sorry, I’m not multi-lingual.
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Mom -
But seriously…am I adopted?
This is exactly why I don’t hug people!!
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I’m LOVING Jenn’s Mom
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hahahaha I <3 your mom.
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I wish my mother would leave tear-jerking comments like that on my blog. Instead, she just calls me at 6 am to tell me how impressed she is with my writing skills, and I’m all like “duuuuh… mooooooom, I did graduate from high school” before I hang the phone up on her.
Seriously?! Who calls anyone at 6 am unless it’s an emergency?
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I love your mom. I really, really want to meet her. She cracks me up.
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I love your Mom too. Don’t hate me, but I kinda read the same thing she did from this post!
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love robbie gould! i don’t know what we’d do without him….
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I’ve never had a “team” but I do love to watch football. I prefer to actually be there though. There’s something about the atmosphere and it’s awesome. As for your fella pictured above–he’s freakin’ hot!
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Such pretty blue eyes! I’m a fan
No, but seriously, Rex needs a different job. One that doesn’t involve throwing a football.
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You’ve been nominated for bloggy love. Have a great weekend!
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This is a great blog post. I watched that game too!
Also, whats with parents taking cheap shots at us? Jealousy I tell you, jealousy.
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Narm – I’d say Ditka 32, Hurricane -7.
And Jenn, you’ve got your wish. Hanie is on the team, but still a neckbeard and 1/2 from starting.
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