You found me how? | Free and Flawed

Aug

28

Filed In: random

As many of you know the move from Wordpress.com to Wordpress.org wasn’t the smoothest or most pleasant of moves. Just when I think I’m starting to love my new home, something ridiculous happens such as me getting locked out of my blog because of a plug-in I installed.

One thing that I’m really loving is that my Google Analytics code is finally working and I’m beginning to see all of the search terms that brought people to my blogaroo. A lot of people save up a handful of funny searches and dedicate a post to it. I am no different!

Without further adieu:

- Get off band-aids
Does somebody really need to know how?

- Girls who cry during sex
I cannot figure out how that brought someone here.

- You kick ass
Yes I do!!! Thank you

- Nipplage
::giggles like a 13-year-old::

- Famous person from Wisconsin

- Dude showers
Oh I just don’t know about this one.

- Please don’t sneeze
Especially in my general direction. I hate when people sneeze next to me on the train or airplane. It’s such a small space. There’s a good chance some of it got on me. Ew.

- Excellent blogs
Need I say anything?

What are some of the best, funniest, weirdest searches people have found you by?

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31 Comments so far
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What a hoot! I can’t wait until we get this on our blog. How addictive is Google Analytics… keep us posted on other funny searches!

I get a ton about urine because I wrote about peeing one day. It’s… pleasant. Not really.

I have no idea how to do that search thing to see how people find me….

I get an ecclectic list of search terms that lead to my blog. Some of the funnier/weirder ones are:
Patrick Stewart
“guts&gore”
Don’t run with scissors at the office
How to tactfully say you hate ethnic hair (a big wtf on that one)
Men’s raunchy underwear
Raunchy boobs display
Seqelboot la belle margot

LOL This send me directly to my analytics and I came up with:

“first boob touch”
“henry chuckabutty”
“malcolm in the middle” racewalking
“peed herself” beach
“standard average minutes + sewing”
bare assed ladies

and my personal fav…
clear snots

My favorite I have ever gotten is “Best way to piss off your girlfriend”

You came to the right place my friend.

That’s awesome. My favorite that I’ve received has been “how to tame afro hair.” Yeah, I still don’t get it.

Haha girls who cry during sex. Mine have been slightly more tame: “i told my ex sister inlaw i have a crush,” “i´ll never know i can be so happy,” “i love blogging,” and “hello kitty.” And other than the last one, I have no idea how these people would have found anything they were looking for at my blog.

Wow. Dude showers? Hmm.
I have search engines turned off for my blog because I’m semi-paranoid over who would show up, but I’ve gotta say.. I kinda wish I hadn’t done that so I could see my own search terms!

I honestly don’t know how google thinks these phrases are relevant to any person’s blog. It’s really crazy.

Ooooh, I HATE when people sneeze on me

hate.it.

Someone once found my blog by google searching “Broke Hogan and black guys”… I’m pretty sure they were disappointed when they got to my blog. Sorry dude… whoever you were!

My two recent favorites are “the tender things are upon me now” and “why do you have to go to albuquerque because you got a piece of balloon stuck in there lungs”.

The favorite one on mine is “elephantitus”

why?

I dont get it. But still love it.

a recent search was “ugly christian bale”. who on earth would be searching for that?

mine is all alice in wonderland porn-related, or alice in wonderland wedding questions. oh, and a lot of queries like “how do i fix my flat hair,” because i’ve complained about my hair a lot

Haha that is pretty funny. The most popular google search on my blog stats is “lips” and “sexy wedgies”

haha i love the nipplage one, i definitely giggled too.

as for searches on my site, i usually get a lot of beach and celebrity related ones, haha. always a good time.

“swedish mothers masturbation” is the weirdest one I’ve gotten so far. The most common one is “cameltoe,” Go figure.

the two scariest ones were;

“Rachel parts”

“sexy mom lets son friends and dog screw her”

*shudder*

HAHAHAHAAHHA!

Man, I thought mine were bad.

And look at this fancy schmancy layout. I feel so inferior…

Someone needs to know how to take off a band aid? And search for information to aid this process? A search I get on a daily basis is “what does condoms look like?” Yeah, I have no idea either.

so random! thanks for sharing

To this day, “getting kicked in the nuts” is my number one search referal. Amazing.

To date, the most searched-for terms that bring people to my site are “large areolas,” but I also keep getting visitors with terms such as “sexy jeans dance,” “naked dress shopping,” and “canine tooth extraction bleed.” HAHAHA So random… totally makes my life seem more exciting than it is!

When they search by my first/last name and Chicago, that freaks me out. I get a lot of searches about strip clubs and quitting jobs. Apparently I have a niche market.

We need to talk about google analytics, do you recommend?

I now have google searches deactivated due to sheer neuroticism, but an old favourite is “pornstar with PhD”.

“Indian Forehead” is the best search that I get – and the frequency is rather stunning.

LMAO WTF!? Those are some WEIRD search terms. I used to check mine all the time, but I don’t so much anymore, there are some things I’d just prefer not to know!