I love the Blogosphere. The community we’ve created for ourselves is something I am proud of. I respect all of my fellow bloggers. It takes a lot of courage to write about some of the topics that are put out there. And even if you’re an anonymous blogger, a foodie or someone who just likes to write about neutral posts and not ruffle any feathers, you all deserve respect.
There’s a handful of bloggers who aren’t receiving the respect they deserve and it’s really upsetting. These people are being honest, open and sometimes extremely raw with their feelings. They figure they have this safe place where they can open up and find support, encouragement or relief and instead they’re bombarded with hate mail and anonymous comments.
I know, I know…when you get an anonymous/mean comment you know you’ve made it as a blogger. You run the risk of getting an ignorant comment or two every time you post something. I get that. But when it becomes an every day occurrence and crosses that line between stupid and personal, then it’s too much.
For example, no matter what a certain blogger writes about, he/she receives hateful comments. Even after closing comments, they’ll move to his/her email. They’re not just hateful, but some of them are hurtful and unnecessary. After removing their email address from the blog, they continue to attack the comments. I just don’t get the point.
Another example is people doing the exact same thing that they’re bashing. It’s perfectly fine to disagree with somebody. I invite people to disagree with me, but I hope that they do so in a mature and respectful way. I’m never intentionally disrespectful* and if they’re going to be, then I won’t waste my time on them.
Anyway, so there’s a group of people who disagree with a certain blogger about how he/she handled a situation involving another blogger. Instead of maturely discussing their side, they attack her and tear down her blog. How does that make them better? They’re doing exactly what he/she did in the post except this blogger did it in a much more respectful and honest way. If I were the person that group was defending, I’d be embarrassed by their immaturity and ignorance.
I hate that it reaches the point where some bloggers feel that they have to shut down their blogs and change everything. Do they ever come back or do they stay away forever because their once safe community is no more?
I know there’s really nothing I can do to stop this. I just had to vent my frustrations. I hate hearing about some of the emails/comments you all receive and I wish there was more I could do.
* I am not above calling your face stupid. And I’ll gladly race you for pinks on TypeRacer.
Go Grease Lightning. Go.
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
Conversely a lot of bloggers take their comments very personally. All bloggers put themselves out for public scrutiny by the very action of publishing a blog, but many seem unable to take comments from others. I don’t know what the situation is you’re referring to above, so can’t comment on that (comment, see what i did there) but i have seen a number of people get riled up and blog-shouty by the comments they invited from other people.
Picking on someone and taking it into email is totally unacceptable though, that should never happen.
What is the worst thing however, are those commenters who attack other comments as if they are commenting on behalf of the blog owner; usually spewing self righteous viriol at the same time. Sure support your blogger friend, but don’t demean yourself doing it.
Ooh that turned into a bit of a rant…i need cake!
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Some people just need to grow up I think.
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I don’t know the specific situation you’re talking about, but I completely agree with your sentiments. I adore the blogosphere too, and spoiling it by attacking people in comments is bad enough (very very bad!) but going on to email your hatred? No way!!!
I often find, if I don’t agree with something that seems to be very personal to the blogger in question, I’d rather not comment than write something that might turn out to be hurtful. Why have some people not learnt common decency? I guess they can’t get it out in real life, cause people will just walk away. It’s easier to attack in the blogosphere.
Sad
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It’s not-so-funny that my heart sinks whenever I see a comment from Anonymous. Usually they are fine, but I just brace myself for the worst. I’ve been cyber-slandered but it’s never made it to my blog. I think I’d have a very hard time remembering that there are bad apples everywhere once it’s coming at me so directly.
You’re right though, it takes maturity. I also think people shouldn’t say anything that they wouldn’t say to my face. We’re all people, not just nameless sources of words. I’d like to think that you wouldn’t go around bashing people left, right and center just because you feel so entitled because you read their blogs.
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You know, i posted about an anonymous comment that was more…critical than anything, not outwardly mean but if you looked beneath the surface it was critical and rather…condescending.
I don’t know about those people you talk about, or my CT hippy hater (he leaves mean comments on adam’s blog as well) but my mom always told me if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
No one forces any of us to read a blog we don’t like, so why do it to instigate drama. It’s so petty and immature. Last i thought, we were TWENTY something bloggers…not twelve. Unfortunately, there will always be that drama monger – i dealt with them on LJ and i still deal with them now. It’s a fact of life that some people will cut someone else down to make them feel better. Sad really.
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This is the exact reason I have my blog set to no anon comments. It’s amazing how someone can feel by sitting behind a computer screen bashing on someone. Knowing in real life they are not like that. At least most of the time.
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I hate trolls and their internet courage, but I love engaging them (which I know is a no-no and my opinion may change once I have one attacking me). Reminding them just how sad their life has to be to attack someone anonymously makes my day. Plus I feel a sort of Mama bear instinct to my blogger friends, wanting defend them (even though I know full well they can defend themselves).
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Everyone has the right to be left alone. Why some people have to kick a person, generally while they are already down, I have no earthly idea.
Better to concentrate on the truly beautiful members of the blogosphere, without whom we wouldn’t have a community for the trolls to abuse.
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OK, so I agree. The aggressors really should think twice about unfairly attacking a blogger. And if their opinions are really that strong, maybe they should use their own blogs to launch the attack. Or just get over it and try not to be so damn mean. Life is too short, after all.
But. BUT. As bloggers, we need to be responsible. And by that, I don’t mean censor ourselves. Everyone has the freedom to say what they want (thankfully, we’re not China). But, to publish our personal email addresses and to allow the ability to post comments, we bloggers leave ourselves open to the haters.
And if we’re to leave the comments open because of the 99.9% of positive, supportive remarks we receive, then we need to develop a defense mechanism for the 0.1% of the haters. Whether it’s growing a really thick skin. Publicly outing and shaming the haters. Or just deleting their comments. Each and every one. We do still maintain control of our blogs. And hopefully the hate will then move on somewhere else.
Just my two cents. Then again, I’m not living with the hate, so it’s easy to spout advice.
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I completely agree, as well! How low of a person do you have to be to put the time and effort into typing out a horrible e-mail or comment to put down someone who was simply trying to be honest or open? Like my mom always said, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t bother saying anything at all. It’s a shame not everone lives by that rule. The blogosphere could be that much of a safer place to open up to.
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Thank god I’m not the only one that watches Pinks
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it’s a general rule in open forums with no consequences…it brings out the worst in people.
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I totally agree with you. I think people should challenge my opinions and my thoughts, but as long as they do so with respect…I don’t know–this (as you said) is my safe place, too. And I hate that people come into it with malicious intent.
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Well said. I’ve been pretty fortunate myself, in that area, not to have any real problems as of yet. But I’ve seen it happen before, and it’s never pretty. The key is to remember that comments like that often come from people who know less than they claim to (no matter how raw you are on your website, I still think it’s impossible to know everything there is to know abut a situation), and have no right to announce their opinion or hate in such a matter. Disagreement is one thing; hate-mongering is another.
Oh! As an aside, let me just say that TypeRacer is extremely addictive! I didn’t realize I typed regularly at 90wpm. Kinda freaked me out when my highest pace was 96wpm.
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Dis wuz da stoopidest blog evar ritten!!!! U suck!!!! Stop riting, LOLZ!!!
Kidding. Too soon?
Love you.
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I’m thrilled that I’m not popular enough, and that I haven’t been blogging long enough to receive those kinds of comments. I get lots of e-mails from people that are really positive – and knowing how much those lift me up makes me think about how I’ll react when those other comments start up.
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I just don’t understand why people take the time to leave comments that are ALWAYS negative.
I left a negative comment once…but I signed it. It wasn’t hateful, but I was just presenting another point of view because what the blogger wrote frustrated me. If someone has a problem with what I write why can’t they just do it that way?
Eh. Who knows. People need to get a life.
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Wow. I think I’m completely out of the loop, because I have no idea what’s going on. With that said, I can’t believe that people can be so closed minded to the fact that they can’t objectively open their eyes and see that what they’re doing is causing more harm than good. It really makes me sad when they have nothing else better to fill their time with than to harass honest, open people with their mindless, empty words.
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When I don’t like a blog, I just don’t read it. End of story. It’s the mature thing to do.
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I am seriously sick of the internet-flame wars
It makes no sense at ALL to me for people to act like that.
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i know we “invite” people to offer “differing” opinions when we blog…. but dude. i don’t know. i’m in the “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” camp. if you disagree with a blogger, WHY BOTHER BEING MEAN ABOUT IT. just close the stupid window and never come back.
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I don’t have a lot of readers so I haven’t encountered any of this nonsense myself. I agree with Chris though, if I don’t like the blog I just don’t read it anymore.
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I remember my first mean comment. It was from an Anonymous, years ago, and claimed that I had the worst blog that the students at Harvard had ever read and blar blar blar. Since Anonymous was a big puss and didn’t leave email or URL, my only recourse to feel better was to rant back in my comment section. I felt a small bit better. A small bit.
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It seems like the anonymous bloggers come out of nowhere to swarm like a pack of locusts. Usually they leave right away, but sometimes they just stick around until they’ve picked a blog dry. It sucks.
I do like the disemvoweling theory, where you remove all the vowels from a hateful comment. It doesn’t justify it with a response, or remove it like it never happened, but it does give you some method of punishment to trolls.
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hey, jen, just delurking to say i totally agree. on one hand, when i got my first troll on my old blog, i knew i had made it. on the other hand, it was a woman i had known growing up and always really liked, so to have her be such a bitch in my comments really hurt me. i KNEW what kind of person she could be, i just never thought it would be directed at me. part of the reason i took down that blog and “semi-retired” Garth Brooks style (as in, i’ve returned) was that it was feeling like too damn much work, but a little bit that i just couldn’t get over putting myself out there and essentially getting my hand slapped (she called my post santimonious crap, if you’re wondering). so anyway, i’m back now, come visit and tell me if you think it’s sanctimonious crap. i promise i can take it.
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If you don’t like a blog, don’t read it. It’s as simple as that, yet people never get it.
I agree that it’s the whole “behind the computer screen” thing where people feel the need to verbally attack whoever they don’t like, because their identities are hidden. I really doubt it’ll ever end, but I definitely agree that it’s tiring and wrong & I feel for all the bloggers that have to deal with it.
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I’m all for politely disagreeing, but why do it anonymously? Either admit you don’t agree, or keep it to yourself. Many of the anon comments I have read on other blogs are just plain mean. If people don’t like a blog, why do they read it? I got my first anonymous mean comment not too long ago, and it really hurt my feelings. Then I realized some stranger who only knew me through my blog (clear from their comment) wasn’t worth my time and energy worrying about it, so I just let it go.
BTW, good luck on all of your school plans! You can do it!
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This is part of the reason why I don’t allow anonymous comments on my blog. I know for a fact there’s people in MY real life who would be all too happy to have a way to make nasty comments and this at least means the only way they can do it is to go to the bother of setting up a fake identity.
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It cant all be puppy dogs and candy canes. There is going to be alot of hate along the way…
unfortunetly theres not a whole lot we could do about it.
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i just don’t ever get why so many people would go through so much to either plagiarize another blogger or leave them such harsh comments. it makes no sense to me whatsoever. come on people, let blogging be happy.
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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
ive been going through this recently. ive been hit with a lot of horrible anonymous comments and people can just be so cruel. some have even gone to the point in making fake gmail account to mess with me. im not kidding people are that crazy.
it makes me sad sometimes, but then i realize that for every single meanie there are 100 nice wonderful readers.
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People can be so rude when they can hide behind the anonymity of the internet. I completely agree.
Great post, and great discussion in the comments. Thank you.
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People seem to feel a lot braver on the internet and for some people, that seems to mean being disrespectful towards others. I don’t get it at all and it makes me sad to hear about.
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agreed that the hate really should stop, but we do put ourselves out there, don’t we?
and yes, it’s a lot easier to be mean over email (or in anon comments) than to someone’s face. these people have no balls.
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But, hate is not nice!
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I intensely dislike when people get into bloggy wars with each other. I feel like it resorts back to schoolyard fighting, and it’s immature and stupid.
Neener.
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I am so very out of the loop.
This is the problem with the internet, I’m afraid… anonymity can be good at allowing people to feel open expressing themselves (hell, look at me), but it becomes problematic when used as a shield for cruelty.
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Haters and people outing me caused me to go into hiding and not blog for a LONG time. But I’m kinda back…
I just wish people would respect bloggers the way other bloggers respect eachother. Outsiders don’t understand and never will.
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