Reasons why I am not a big fan of myself right now:
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1. After my toe deflated and returned to its normal size, it began itching like a mother effer. Cortizone cream? Eff that. This is a mutant bite and I’m pretty sure it’s going to turn into a tiny dinosaur. (Without exaggerating, the bite is now kinda purple and blue…is that normal? I think I see a tiny tooth.)
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2. Waking up in the middle of the night to shut the windows during a thunderstorm should be effortless. Instead, I jumped in the hallway due to a giant thunder monster and stood there like an ass thinking it would swallow me up if I moved again. Close the eff’in windows and go back to bed. Don’t be paralyzed by fear.
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3. Because I slept so fabulously, what better way to wake up than with a nose bleed? Oh and not just any nose bleed. Why would it be easily manageable? We’re talking multiple Kleenex here folks.
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Because of the preceding factors, I’m bordering on grouchy/cranky and nothing but a plate full of pancakes will fix it. Or a blueberry muffin. Perhaps some coffee cake. Maybe just a hug – don’t get overzealous Mom.
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I hope all of your nights were better than mine.
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m fresh out of pancakes, muffins and coffee cake. Guess what’s left…..:)
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I’m a rather big fan of your mother. I got my second ever comment on my blog from my mom yesterday. Gotta love those ladies.
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That’s an eventful and unpleasant night. Hopefully it just means all the good stuff will come during the day!
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For the longest time, I’ve tried to make people feel better about their problems by offering solutions and downplaying the severity of the issue. My girlfriend recently told me that this is an ineffective method because it sounds like you are telling the afflicted that their sorrows are unwarranted. I have since changed my methods…
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That’s probably the worst combination of things that could possibly happen in that period of time, I hope that the universal balance is restored by making the rest of your day absolutely wonderful..:-)
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We like you though
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I didn’t get much sleep as the daughter didn’t want to go to sleep, and then woke in the middle of the night. *yawn*
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I’m here with the intent of leaving you some kind words after such a rough night, but I keep getting tripped up on the image of a tiny dinosaur forming on your big toe! How cute would that be?!
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…or maybe I’m not picturing this correctly?
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Wishing you better luck for the rest of the day
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Your mom’s comment made me laugh. I needed that
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looks like thunder didn’t make it on to your love list. Lightning, but no thunder?
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Good news, YOU are on mine!
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well, I’m supposed to be in chicago right now, instead I’m writing this from my plane that still has not departed dc, that I have been on for 3 hours now, whose a/c is not working. I’ve had better mornings.
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Well personally I think having a tiny dinosaur growing on your foot would be pretty awesome. As long as it’s a friendly dinosaur. If it turns into a T-Rex though I’d be worried.
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There’s nothing like a monster nosebleed to wake you up in the morning, I say. They get me out of bed in a flash.
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Are you sure it’s a mosquito bite? It really sounds more to me like a bee sting, if it only started to really itch now. Do you have caladryl lotion? That’s what we use in my house.
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Awww, phoo. That sounds miserable.
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I’m sorry your night was so crummy, but you make me laugh! I heart you.
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I love it that your Mom was the first to comment! I hope your day is much better than your night. Also? You know I’m going to ask to see your toe on Thursday, because I’m weird like that!
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Aw, crappy! I hope your day goes better =)
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So lame… hope the rest of your day is better.
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I feel your pain dear. Two things: Tequila and Guilt Trips
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I made some fabulous homemade banana chocolate chip pancakes this morning, along with some fresh-picked marionberries (only grown here in Oregon). I have extras of both that I’ll send your way…in thought only of course…unless you like 4 day old moldy pancakes and berries
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Judging from your symptoms (blood, redness, and swelling) (and the fact I am a M.D…mom doctor) I say that you have the Rage disease from “28 days later”.
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Good luck with that
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*goes to lock her door*
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Hey, I just thought of something…did you look up nosebleed in the book I sent you? The purple Louise Hay book?
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You are totally NOT crazy for fearing that thunder monster. I too live in chicago, and that was a BEAST last night! I don’t blame you for freaking out, even if it was just a teeny bit.
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I absolutely LOVE your mom’s comment. And I hope the pancakes fixed everything — its no fun being frustrated with yourself. And I would have frozen up with the windows, too. Sometimes, storms are scary…
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Your mom is awesome. She’s totally going to hug the life out of you. Maybe you should go see a doc if the bite isn’t better. That doesn’t sound good. It has to be better by Thursday!
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I get nose bleeds too, so I totally feel you. Though my more recent ones have lasted multiple hours each, which I hate because it feels like such a waste of time to me. Not to mention a waste of blood.
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Thunderstorms scare the bejebus out of me…so i feel ya there :/ <3
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