Eff’in Lint Lickers! | Free and Flawed

May

22

Filed In: complaints

Dear Ass hats Comcast,
\

\
I have tried to be friendly with you. I’ve been a loyal customer since I lived out in Utah. That’s practically three years on and off of loyalty from me. When the grandfolk wanted to get cable, I suggested Comcast. Not Dish Network, not AT&T. No, no. Comcast. What do you do when you get here to install it? You break my grandpa’s antique clock. But don’t worry, Comcast will handle all repairs if we call them. My ass!
\

\
Since then my grandparents have been called stupid and liars. I’m not very pleased about that. Did you pay for the clock? No. You supposedly have zero record of who was actually here installing cable that day. For all you know we installed it ourselves or maybe some little cable fairies flew in from cablestia and sprinkled some magical cable fairy dust and poof! We had cable.
\

\
I’ve been trying to tell them to cancel service with you since you have been complete douche bags about everything. You’re Comcast. You should keep track of who goes to what house and if something is damaged, you eff’in pay for it.
\

\
What you may not realize is that I’m a girl. I get curled up all nice and cozy on my bed to watch Grey’s Anatomy. I look forward to the predictable, yet still some what surprising season finales. I NEED to know what happens between McDreamy and Meredith. I want to make gagging noises as they finally stop running away from each other and share a McSappy moment. I need to see them together and I need to see this from the comfort of my own damn bed. This was TV history (for me)!! Was I able to swoon in the predictable ooey-gooeyness that is McDreamy and McWhiny?! NO! Because you decided the last 10 minutes of the episode would be a grand time for an “outage.” I had to throw my adorable snoozing cat off of my lap and run downstairs, barefoot by the way, into the kitchen to watch the normal TV with the antenna.
\

\
If you pull this shit next week during the Lost season finale you better believe I will find one of you and watch it on your couch, sans deodorant. I know one of you lint lickers has DVR and I will be sure to watch that two hour finale over and over while eating all of your cheese puffs, cheese doodles and drinking all of your wine. You will be forced to sit with your back to the TV. All you will be able to see is my face as I mouth the words “I will cut you.”
\

\
In conclusion, pay my grandparents their money, get your shit together and stop acting like ass hats just because you’re the only cable company in Chicago. Just because you’re a big bad cable company in a world of satellites doesn’t mean you can be complete d-bags! I don’t mind satellite. In fact, I think I love it. Maybe I’ll marry it and have a bunch of satellite babies.
\

\
Sincerely,
\

\
One ticked-off Grey’s Anatomy Fan
\

\
P.S. Who ever is downstairs going to the bathroom can you please shut the door all the way? I can hear you tinkle and it’s making me uncomfortable. Thank you.
\

\
P.S.S. I hope your fairy friends have a fairy filter for Comcast in cablestia and find this e-letter.

Share and Enjoy:

27 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Dude. I am so sorry you missed that ending.
\

\
BUT, abc.com will show it! Tomorrow’s your day off, right? I know, I know - NOT the same.. but at least you can still see it

Holy cats, Jenn, I didn’t know you lived in Utah! That’s pretty darn cool.
\
Also? The Comcast Kingdom of Cablestia (that name made me giggle) is seriously run by a sucky demon overload. Sorry about Grey’s!

I think whilst eating cheese puffs you should also crush a majority of them up and push them between their couch cushions.

Rude people suck!

you need to crush the cheese-puffs with your feet and walk them into the carpets.

I haven’t seen last night’s Grey yet (am just downloading it now), but I’d be so pissed. Last week’s episode (or maybe the one from the week before?) was missing the last minute of sound, but thankfully many people had that problem and after I googled it I found a forum where someone had posted the dialogue for that last minute.
\
I’m going to be watching the Lost finale as well, can’t wait!

OMG that’s awful. Another reason why I left Comcast. I have RCN which isn’t great in customer service either but it’s been more reliable than Comcast. Asses.

wait, i don’t get that picture. oh, it’s TV snow!!! hahaha.

hey, you must twitter @comcastcares
\

\
the guy behind that will totally hook you up.

that is so weird! i DVRd it last night but my called me to ask me if i watched it because the last 10 minutes went fuzzy/pixelated for her too! maybe it wasn’t a comcast mix up?
\

\
either way, they’re douchebags. i can’t believe they called your grandparents liars!

Oh, Comcast is SO ass-hat. I’ve always hated them.
\

\
I do like the idea of going to watch your shows on their couch though. I bet that would get you some customer service.

Because I hate Comcast, I opted out of cable tv this year…and have been happily enjoying internet tv since I made the transition (however, it means I’ll be watching Grey’s Anatomy on a much-more-delayed schedule than the rest of the world…shhh, don’t give away the ending;)).

Actually, in Chicago there is RCN. But I’ve heard even worse things about them. Damn the man!

Comcast is a shitty company that can treat their customers however they want because in most markets they have a MONOPOLY. Seriously.
\

\
How many people who don’t want ugly dishes hanging all over their houses have the ability to chose between two different cable companies? Not many. In most areas they are the only game in town.
\

\
F** them. I have had bad experiences with them as well. The only reason I have cable is so I can watch Fox Sports Pittsburgh (this is crack to me). If not for that, I would not have cable.

I don’t know anyone that does like Comcast. I read an article in a recent Reader’s Digest about a grandma who went to a Comcast office and smashed up a bunch of their office equipment because she was so mad at them. Apparently she sat in this Comcast office for two hours waiting to see a manager, just to be told the manager had left. I have my own Comcast stories, but too long to tell here.

i don’t have the option of comcast, because while there are about 4 or 5 cable/internet providers around here, only ONE provides my specific neighborhood. WTF. cox cable can suck it, too.

We don’t have Comcast here in Vancouver, but I’ve never heard anything good about them either.
\

\
I believe the phrase “highly-skilled bollock juggler” would apply.
\

\
I hope they fix your grandad’s clock.

We have directv and have NEVER had any problems!

This is why we gave up cable over 2 years ago. Also, I haven’t seen last night Grey’s Anatomy yet, either! Or Ugly Betty! Gotta watch them tonight. Heh… you don’t wanna know how we get our tv shows.

I saw you Twitter this last night and was hoping there would be a blog post with backstory. Glad you were able to watch the last 10 of Grey’s downstairs. I had Comcast in Seattle and now fight my cable battles with Time Warner. Trust me, the douche-baggery is just as bad.

oh man that would make me livid. i say you send this letter right to their merry fairy offices and see if you get a response, haha.

That sucks!
\

\
We have Time Warner here and they are SOOOO expensive, but they are the only cable game in town.
\

\
I watch Grey’s on abc.com. The hubs makes fun of me for watching it.

Man, if anything happened during the Lost finale, I would lose it completely. I’ll pray for an interruption free viewing for both of us

Can you watch the end of your show online? I had to do that for House because the dvr messed up.
\

\
And you should smear the cheese puffs all over the walls and furniture. That stuff is hard to get out.

This post? Also dedicated to Charter. Man, that whole story stinks. I agree with Jennifer above me. Cheezy poof “cheez” is ridiculously hard to get out.

Those sleazy, sniveling bastards. Cut them!

I absolutely love your blog!! I can just keep reading and reading.

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a comment