Your face is stupid! | Free and Flawed

This morning my mom and I did a little shopping for her garden. We went to Jewel to pick up some potting soil. If you don’t live here, know that once spring hits, Jewel transforms a good section of their parking lot into a green house (at least the Jewel by my house does). So we’re driving down an aisle, stuck behind some guy who stopped right in front of the car to fold up his receipt and put it in his pocket. Once he passes, we notice a car coming from the other direction. Well, she wasn’t moving, she was just stopped in the aisle. There was on parking spot between us. You know where this is going…
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My mom turns on her blinker and doesn’t move, awaiting the other cars move. The other car does nothing. No blinker, no move. So my mom pulls into the spot. We park, exit the car and begin walking toward the greenhouse (which is really white). As we’re looking at prices, we hear a woman talking. At first I didn’t know she was talking to my mom. I wish I caught on sooner because I had some words that I would have liked to share with her. As she drove by she thought it would be real mature to yell out her window “Thanks for the parking spot bitch!”
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And because I’m oozing with maturity, had I known she was talking to us, I would have included these words in my reply back to her:
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Douche, ass hat, your mom, your face is stupid, go suck a lemon you lint licker! And last but not least, because I’m polite, you’re welcome.
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1. No one calls my mom a bitch.
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2. If you’re going to take a spot, take it. Don’t sit motionless in the middle of an aisle for 20 seconds. Turn on a blinker, honk your horn, move! Do something to let other cars know that you want that spot.
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3. Don’t continue waiting until we walk out of the car to say something from the comfort of your driver’s seat as we walk by. If you’re going to call us a bitch, have the balls to get out of the car and say it to our faces, not our backs.
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4. Bitch? Really? Is that the best you could come up with? Look at the colorful things I wanted to say to you. Put some effort into it!
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On top of that, oh yes, there’s more. I’m at Target waiting to get a prescription filled. I’m behind a man who obviously doesn’t not speak English. After hearing his name, I assume that he’s polish…not that it really matters.
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The pharmacist asks how he spells his name. He continued telling her what his name was. Yes sir, we know your name. Now spell it. He just stared at her smiling, completely not understanding a word she was saying.
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I’m sorry, but I’m a firm believer that if you’re going to live here, at least try to learn the English language. Nothing bothers me more than people who deliberately don’t try to understand what people are saying to them. I don’t see why my ATM should come in 9 different languages. Why should a box of tampons have 9 different languages on them? Learn English! At least learn enough so you know when someone is asking you to spell your extremely complicated sounding name!
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Lint licker!

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17 Comments so far

i am so with you on the learning english thing! if you’re going to live in a country that speaks a different language, then learn the damn native language so you can communicate with people!

Oh wow! People can be so ball less I swear. You have given me inspiration to share the story of me at Walmart–even though I was a bit rude. As for learning the English language, I second that motion. It’s ridiculous that in my own country where I was born and raised I have to worry about leaving space at the bottom of a form to translate it into Spanish. If this was France they would tell you to piss off!

I’m with you on the rude & totally clueless driver. As for the exasperation with the anglo-challenged fellow at Target, I’m a little surprised at your stance. Most of Western & Northern Europe (at least in cities) speak a bit if not a lot of English. English is taught as a second language in grade schools. A good # of Euros speak 3 or 4 or 5 lanquages w/English @ the top of the list. Not meaning to ramble but that is why the USA is known as a ‘melting pot’!

That’s awful about the woman and the parking spot! I really hate it when I’m waiting, have my blinker on, the person backs out and zoom! someone zips into the spot before me. Wtf?!? MY blinker was on, I called it! (I have some pent up anger about this apparently)
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As far as not speaking English goes, I’m pretty sympathetic to people because I spent a year abroad and I know what it’s like to have no idea what people are saying. Luckily, I learned some French before I traveled there

Um, that woman sounds horrendous. I’ve had similar moments in parking lots – it seems to be a breeding ground for meanness and incivility.

SPEAK ENGLISH people. Geeshes.. It reminds me of the part in Bitter is the new Black where they speak Spanish in the unemployment agency.

Something about being behind the wheel of a car turns people into the most obnoxious assholes!
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As for learning English, I’m of two minds–yes, I’m in complete agreement that if you live in a country you should make an effort to learn the language. However, I do know that when I’m traveling, I’m mighty happy when ATMs, train stations, and the like include their instructions in English as well as the country’s first language!

Love the Someecard! People that don’t learn English really bother me too. I’m all for expanding horizons and I take that to include languages as well, especially when in a different country.

You know what? What can ya do. People like her have nothing better to do than to complain about everything in life. She’s miserable.

“your face is stupid” is a great comeback…
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i was driving yesterday and saw an SUV-ish type vehicle on the other side of traffic pull into the “turning lane only” after another large SUV-ish type vehicle stopped. windows were down, things were being yelled. i was just stopped at a stop light, have no idea what went on, but pretty much thought someone was going to be shot.
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pretty much i just hate confrontation.
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oh, and yesterday i went to the store with my mum [dad & sister] to get things for her garden as well

Since I have like no gift for languages — I couldn’t even learn gibberish as a kid — I totally sympathize with people here who can’t speak English. I think we’re a country that should be about differences being okay. And I think it’s got to be scary to not be able to communicate with the people around you.
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But, my grandmother was foreign — from the country you are currently very unhappy with for taking someone away from you– and spoke English perfectly. She shared your opinion. She was probably the most patriotic person I ever met (she cried at the Star Spangled Banner) and felt that if you were lucky enough to be an American, you should speak the language.
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So, I can see both sides. I just know if I had to move to another country b/c my hubby got a job there or something, I’d be sloooooow to pick up any of the local language and probably resort to embarrassing pantomimes.

So glad you’re on my side Jenn. Solidarity!! Yeah!

That woman’s reaction at Jewel was uncalled for. Man up and f*ck off to her too.

I hate it when people can’t use turn signals in a parking lot. They don’t deserve spots, and they have stupid faces.
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But as for the English thing, I’m with Allie. I can’t learn languages for shit, and while it would be nice if we could all understand each other, I bet a lot of immigrants have problems with English, which is one of the most nonsensical languages in the world.
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Besides, I haven’t needed to read the directions on a tampon box in a really long time, and I always get a kick out of seeing Korean written out. How did anyone ever learn to speak that?

Super f-unyeah. Or super un-f-yeah.

I am right there with you on the language deal. I lived in Italy and made EVERY effort to speak the language while I was there. Why should they have to know English for me? If they knew English, great, but if not? I’d better know Italian. I feel the same way here – if you’re going to live here and take advantage of all the good things our country has to offer, the least you could do is try to learn the language. There are special exempt cases, sure. Maybe he was visiting a relative? But if you LIVE here? Come on.

That sucks. Why do parking lots make people lose their tempers so easily? I don’t get it. Also, ass hat is one of my FAVE disses. Reading it just makes me giggle.

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