What to do when your therapist breaks up with you

May

16

Filed In: Personal

A little tidbit of background info: I have been seeing the same therapist for about six years. I’m not crazy or suffer from an incurable addiction. I actually am very emotionally healthy and going to therapy every month ensures that I stay that way. I viewed our relationship as a bit more than just a therapist and patient. No I wasn’t in love with him. Dr. Dude (not his real name) was a really good friend (who got paid) to listen to me talk about my life for an hour an fifteen minutes twice a month. When I lived in other states, we’d talk on the phone. He was quite possibly one of the biggest supporters in my life.

With that said, he broke up with me last night. I got the whole, “Before we start, there’s something we should talk about.” You’re a therapist. You can’t lessen the blow a bit more? I guessed that he was moving. Damn! I hate it when I’m right! Instead of getting upset I laughed hard. After finding out a bit more information about his trip, I told him why I found this so funny. My boyfriend and I just broke up because he’s moving to Iceland and can’t carry on a relationship with me. Now, another male in my life, is breaking up with me because he’s moving out west. Ironic much?
The worst part of it all is that Dr. Dude said I inspired his move. Is that a sly way of saying I’m too crazy for him?! No. It’s not. I’ve been known on occasion to pick up my bags and move on a whim. He said that after watching me move to Macomb, then Utah, then Olney, he decided to stop being afraid and take a risk. Well that’s great that I’m inspiring him and all, but what he doesn’t realize is that I moved back! Ah ha! He’ll be back
Anyway, I’ve come up with a list of things you can do when your therapist breaks up with you:
1. Ask if you’re being Punk’d. Then I remembered that he’s probably too old to know what Punk’d is. I was hoping it was a belated April Fool’s Day joke, but it wasn’t.
2. Bribe him. Offer to wash his car or feed his cat.

3. Suddenly develop an out-of-the-blue case of paranoia, dementia, schizophrenia or OCD. This will make him worry too much about you to leave. Unfortunately, having a clean bill of mental health doesn’t allow for such examples of insanity on my part.

4. Grab onto his leg and don’t let go.
5. Lay on the guilt. Hard. Remind him that your last relationship is still a very sore wound for you and his breakup is only rubbing salt in it. He will now be the reason you stop trusting men and become a lesbian. Helloooo laaaadies! Seriously…no more peenur. All because of you Dr. Dude.
6. Cry. Call your mom. And sing “All By Myself” on the car ride home.
7. Denial.
Guess which one I chose? My therapist didn’t break up with me? I’m seeing him in three weeks. Everything will be oooooookay. (I’m actually not okay with this. At all. I do have another session with him in 3 weeks, but that will be our last one. This is sad.)
P.S. I am NOT a fan of the men in my life right now.
Boobies.
Other alternative titles:

There’s no crying in therapy!

What do you mean it’s me, not you?!

Seven steps to abandonment issues.

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Dude. That’s sad. Although, it looks like you broke out some crazy dance moves in your “going crazy” scenario, so that’s a positive thing to come out of all this…

Your stick figures continue to amaze…
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I don’t see my therapist very often, but I would be really upset if she moved. You know how hard it is to break in a new one?!?!

Therapist? If you’re not mad? This *must* be an American thing. Therefore I’m afraid I can’t sympathise. Although I suppose it must be the same feeling as when, say, your favourite barman leaves your local pub?

I always wished I went to therapy, but I’d be heartbroken if they broke up with me, since we’d be working on my own abandonment issues. I’d probably end up like what about bob!

Dude! That was a HILARIOUS post.
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It kind of reminds me of Monk, the detective TV show with Tony Shalhoub.
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I love to hear that people are going to therapists because a) I’ve seen how healthy it can be! and b) I want to be one eventually.

Oh! That is so hard. It’s tough to find someone you trust to confide in and it’s awful to lose it. I hope you find someone new and fabulous to talk to.

I think I would die.

Ok, for some reason I found No. 6 Really Freakin’ Funny.
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I think you need a gay guy friend in your life. They make good therapists, and the only expense is paying to go out for drinks.

My gal is starting her own practice and I don’t think I can afford the co-pay. Will have to see. My last session is next week. I will tell you all about it and make sure to link back to you \

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I’m sorry he is leaving. Stupid man. Love the paintings as always!!

I love your face and live for the cartoon depictions of your life.

I’m guessing…no. 5- guilt? I had a straight guy best friend for a good six months (I called him my “non-boyfriend”)…then he decided to actually date someone and our weekly hangouts became quarterly. It was all very disappointing. Moral of the story? Stick with the therapist.

Your cartoons are beyond adorable. Seriously!
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I’ve actually been thinking of seeing a therapists. Like you, it would be a nice way for me to STAY sane, and not venture into insanity. i never wish to go there. Anyway, glad you enjoy yours and GOOD LUCK with out him.
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Also, I vote lying and saying you have a new case of dementia.

I like the stick people! You should see if you can get work drawing those for court cases - like you see in the papers where they show a “court sketch of the accused”. It would be vastly more entertaining since I can’t see what use sketching criminals in court serves anyway.
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Good luck with finding a new therapist (if you decide to).

you make the best stick people illustrations! for real.
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also, i’ve had to break up with a therapist and usually i start out by saying - so, this is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you…

Harsh! (anyone watch Dirt?) I’ve never seen a therapist, but sorta always wanted to just to talk about stuff that bugs me and would probably bore other people. Still haven’t gathered up the nerve to actually find one, though.
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Also, I vote for guilt. It’s time-tested and mother-approved!

I probably would have done #6. Just saying.
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And I think everyone needs a little therapy. At least everyone I know does.

Haha! I love your paint skills!
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I would probably cry if my therapist told me he was moving, although I’m pretty sure he’ll retire before he moves. He’s been seeing me for…at least five years so it’ll be a sad day. Is Dr. Dude going to recommend a new therapist for you?

jenn, you are getting like REALLY good that these drawings! im impressed. so i had to break up with my therapist when i moved to cleveland. it was so sad for me, she was AWESOME so awesome in fact that i haven’t been able even look for another.

haha, sorry, but that was like an awesome post/story.
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i’m sorry to hear that he’s leaving though. that sucks

I’m sorry that I am laughing but the way you told this story is just hilarious. Sorry you lost your therapist

i’m laughing from the post’s sheer hilarity but i also feel sorry for your personal loss of a confidant.

Haha, I’ve really gotta tell you, your drawings and “things to do” really cracked me up. Especially singing “All By Myself” in the car. That was a good one.
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That said, it’s a total bummer your therapist/friend is moving. Did he suggest some other good people for you?

He said you inspired his move? Ok, fine maybe, but don’t come out and say that Dr Dude! I hope he referred to someone good. and. And. AND! If you can call when YOU move away, why can’t HE???
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Love your stick figures, BTW!

Love the paint jobs, hate the fact that he’s moving! I think pretty much all men suck. At least that’s what I think, today.

That’s awful. I would go with denial, that usually holds me over for a while. It’ll be okay, but I’m sorry to hear the news.

“Sing ‘All By Myself’ on the car ride home.” God, if I had a dollar for every time I dealt with disappointment that way!
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Doctors (that you like) leaving is the worst. I got a letter in the mail the other day that my nurse practitioner is leaving. At least yours told you face to face. I’m sorry about Dr. Dude. No fun.

nice stick figures! sux to see someone you trust that much take off, but i don’t really know anyone i trust that much so i can’t really sympathize, either (and unfortunately).
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so what are you going to do? is it possible to see someone else or is that too difficult of an adjustment?

Teehee! I like the drawing of you grabbing him by the leg!

when he moves, can you still do phone therapy sessions?

Don’t be so sad. You’ll get over it. Think of it this way, number one..You are free to have a new therapist (you can choose the gorgeous ones); number 2…even if your BF left, you are FREE in meeting new men again! I know its difficult right now, it took me a while to find the the half owner of my heart. But once you found HIM. You will remember this moment and just laugh it off. Take care!

I am SO sorry for your loss. I seriously do not know what I would do without my therapist. Good luck.

oy. i’m sorry. make him give you his best referrals before he’s allowed to take off….

I’m sorry, but I laughed so hard at this post. You are hysterical. I can’t believe its taken me this long to read your blog. Seriously.
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Anyway, that does suck that he broke up with you, make sure he gives you some excellent referrals (and gives you his new phone number so you can “accidentally” call him at all ours of the night thanks to time differences. No, I’m not evil. :-D)

You are doing so damn well compared to the way I would be reacting if the above happened to me. GO YOU!
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I love the paint images (per the usual). Hillarious and wonderful therapy for myself.
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Im sure you will find another therapist you mesh with. Remember.. you have to date around to find the right fit.

for some reasons, YOU remind me of Ally McBeal *lol* be good & go find a gay friend!

I have noticed that all the replies stopped after May. I relate to your situation, because My Therapist retired this summer. I had been with her for 10 years. She gave me a 6 mo. warning but it was still traumatic. Did you eventually find a new person? Can you call the old one? I should have used the method shown in the stick figure of you hanging on to his leg! Wonderful.

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16

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