Scene: Cafe at work. My nose is pressed up against the glass panel of a vending machine while my hands bang on the sides.
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If you were to walk into the cafe at this moment you would hear me softly whining, “Nooooooo! Take my change! Why hath thou forsaken me?!” Last week the vending machine did not accept dollars. This was a bit upseting as I usually don’t have much change on me. This week, after planning ahead, I brought exactly 55 cents with me. That delicious bag of SunChips has been waiting for me for days now. I go downstairs, gently greet the machine with a “hello beautiful” and as I slide my hands over the glass, I notice a sign.
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“Does not accept change.”
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Noooooooooooooooooooo! But I have 55 cents! I have no dollars! Why are you toying with me? I could hear it laugh at me as I walked away. I sulked back to my desk. My wounds ached as I cried mini tears of sadness. A tear fell onto my lips and as I licked it off, I remembered the saltiness of the chips I could be eating right now.
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I’m convinced my office needs an “in case of emergency” box. In it: a crisp dollar bill, four quarters, ten dimes, twenty nickels, a granola bar, toilet paper and a band-aid.
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Wait. How many nickels go into a dollar? 5 multiplied by 5 is 25…so….20? Why is this so difficult! Damn you vending machine you stole my logic!!
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
This happens to be all the time at my school it is “Use exact change”
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I never have exact change. The result? I’m hungry
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Now I want sunchips. THANKS A LOT. You’re my virtual broken vending machine.
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What kind of vending machine doesn’t accept change? How does it expect to sell anything?
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Oh, you poor thing! That is absolutely torturous.
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Let me be the first to point out that, again, your mad graphic skillz are what have elevated this post from amusing to hilarious!
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Now I want to see the stick figure Jenn with the bulging triceps take on that evil machine!
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Annette -
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I’d be okay with exact change because I had it. Stupid machine!
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Ben -
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My bad
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Modern Gal -
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Osmosis.
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Megan -
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It is!
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Jimsmuse -
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Ah thank you! I should have added myself into the picture. I’d be bowing before it crying though. Maybe one day I’ll punch it.
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Uuuugh! I HATE when that happens!!! Maybe… if you have more self control than I, you could bring a big bag to work?
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I would eat it in one sitting. We’re working on that.
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i hate vending machines. your office should just have a basket of free food, haha.
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Oh, wow. That’s awful! The vending machine at my old work was like that, too, and for a long time, we couldn’t even get anything out of it. And then, the Coke machine was giving out 2 for the price of one, so we stocked up on that…
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that emergency box could also needs tampons, chocolate, and soap. [i mean, that would work for me].
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also. i love sun chips. which ones were you trying to purchase? my fav’s are the Harvest Cheddar. i get them every time i go to subway, and always buy a big bag for the office [then my boss eats them all].
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just more proof we’re twins.
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Somechick84 -
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Yeah…I lack self control.
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Katelin -
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Agreed!
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Stylishhandwriting -
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I hope this vending machine starts dropping two for one deals!
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Amy -
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Harvest cheddar is my favorite too! I really do like the original flavor as well. Man we’re awesome! If you brought me cupcakes I’d pretty much owe you my cupcake-loving soul.
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That was hilarious and with a solid Paint drawing too of the vending machine. I hate it when the vending machine shames me. Love the image of you hitting it saying, “noooooo” too.
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So it doesn’t take dollars OR change?? That’s not a vending machine, that’s a display case! I’m so sorry you were denied the deliciousness of the almighty Sun Chip. (Tasty and moderately nourishing!)
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I hate that! I’ve even gone to great lengths to get someone to help me to tip the machine forward a bit–a big guy of course so it doesn’t crush me–in order to get my SunChips oddly enough. Freakin’ machines!
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I love your idea of an “in case of emergency” box. Perhaps a bottle of wine should be added to the stash?
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Oh dear! That vending machine is not your friend! :O
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