Dear Carrie Bradshaw,
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I’ve got a rather large bone to pick with you. I’m talking a bone of femur proportions. (The femur is the largest bone in the body – get it? Anatomy humor? No? Kay.) I’ve been watching you on Sex and the City for years. I’m quite surprised I haven’t noticed this until now. So I’m watching reruns on TBS right? You currently just cheated on Aidan in case you were wondering where I’m at. And for the record, I can totally empathize with you and Big. I get it. I have a “Big” in my life, too. But back to you. Your breakups are less than realistic.
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I’m not saying that you and whom ever didn’t care for each other. Trust me I’m not trying to belittle the relationship. But let’s take your break up with Aidan for example. You told him you cheated on him and then what did you do? Went out to breakfast with the ladies, bought some shoes and flew to LA! Not one word mentioned of Aidan. Instead, you were bitching and moaning about Mr. Big. Again, I totally get it. I mean, I don’t really feel him if you know what I’m saying…not really my type.
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Anyway. My beef with you is that you end a relationship, say something thought-provoking in front of your laptop and the next day go shopping and then it’s like you’re over it. Is there some secret to shopping that I don’t know about? I don’t particularly enjoy it because I don’t have a stylist who sizes all my clothes for me and makes sure I look perfectly ridiculous in a tutu. Is it because I’m cheap and don’t shop at designer stores? Does the amount of money spent increase the amount of closure or healing? Does it speed up the process? When you’re not shopping, you’re eating with Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte. It’s great that you have a support group, but where’s the sadness? You’ve ended many relationships during these six seasons and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you really cry over a relationship.
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Real women cry Carrie! We can’t bury our sorrow in a cosmopolitan at 9:30 in the morning! We all don’t have a gay friend to go shopping with! I feel let down. You make it look like it’s soooooo easy ending relationships. And to make matter worse, people want to read about your failed relationships! I can bitch to my laptop all I want but no one is going to make a column out of it and pay me $4 a word!
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In conclusion, stop lying to women. I don’t want to go shopping for Manolo Blahniks or Fendi bags. I don’t want to waste money going out every morning or night with girlfriends. By the way, I tried the whole girls night out and it didn’t magically fix my bitterness. Where’s YOUR bitterness?! Eff’in cry once in a while. But don’t do that squeaky crap. Seriously, what is up with all of the squeaking?
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Sincerely,
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A real woman who cries over failed relationships.
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P.S. HBO is more than welcome to make a series out of my life. Cosmo? Need a columnist?
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(Like the title? Get it? Big girls. You know…Mr. Big)
{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
Grrr. I’m with you. But I’ve always thought that relationships in TV series sucked anyway. Why no arguing over whose turn it is to take the rubbish out and/or who does the most washing up. Why do the people never come home after work just knackered, and lie on the sofa in their PJs watching crap? They always seem to come home to hearts and flowers and swinging off the chandelier sex. Dammit.
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I love, love, love, love you for writing this.
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I hate Carrie! Nothing about her character is realistic and I agree with you that I know this is New York but I live here and I promise you NO ONE WEARS A TUTU. At least, no one over the age of 5.
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And no columnist job is ever going to allow anyone to have an apartment overlooking Central Park or a single pair of Manolos, let alone many.
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Also, girl shoulda stuck with Aidan.
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Arielle -
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Thank you! I didn’t know if the tutu was a touchy subject or not. Some love it, some are all “wtf?” I do agree about Aidan though. Only if he cut his hair. The long hair thing creeps me out.
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Hope -
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I love, love, love, love you for loving me.
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Nuttycow -
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I love your name. And you’re so right. Relationships in general are unrealistic on TV. Damn you networks!!
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I would like to just add something to your very insightful post.
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Attention sassy girls with gay friends: Please ensure that you are not ALWAYS calling them to cheer you up from failed relationships. While we expect it will be a certain percentage of the friendship, being a constant needy nelly without considering others does not allow a friendship to grow.
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Jenn, this is not directed at you…I’m just cranky and needed an outlet. I really don’t know how Carrie kept her friends throughout that whole show when she’s so damn self-absorbed.
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But really…LOVE Sex and the City haha just would hate for it to by my life.
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Ben -
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You tell em brotha! I agree that women shouldn’t depend solely on their gay friends for pick-me-ups and shopping. I, too, LOVE SATC. I wouldn’t mind living in Carrie’s apartment if someone else paid the rent
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one of my favorite sad parts of SATC is when carrie and aiden break up for the last time and she sits in the bathroom and cries. but they dont really show her crying. i can’t believe i admitted that i have a favorite SAD part of that show. haha.
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i agree with your post and if i could blame anyone in the entertainment world, it’d be all of john cusack’s characters in chick flicks because it’s totally his fault that i have unrealistic expectations for relationships. HA.
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besides all of this hoopla i hope you’re doing okay. well, as okay as you can be doing.
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Yes, we do cry. I for one was crying for Aidan. I know, I get the Mr. Big thing, but Aidan was my love. “Are We Sluts?” has to be my favorite episode.
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Ha, I never watched this show, but I totally relate. We cry. We don’t get over it easily. We don’t pay full price for clothes, we can’t just get together with our girlfriends over lunch. Boo on tv raising my expectations for life!
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oh how i feel you on this point. what stinks though? i’m still so excited to see the SATC movie when it comes out!
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Wow, I never noticed that. You are so right. Poo on Carrie.
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hahaha no she doesn’t cry but ten episodes later she’s like “why can’t i find a good guy…” and it’s like YOU HAD ONE AND YOU CHEATED ON HIM (trust me…i would have too with mr. big…<3 <3 him!) and then she sees him with his now wife and baby and she’s all like WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and it’s like lady. you suck.
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it should be noted that after both these instances she goes out and goes shopping. Man i wish i had thousands of dollars to throw towards shoes. Crazy whorebag.
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Oh my goodness, I totally agree with Shanti about John Cusack ruining everything.
No one has ever held a boom box up like that for me. Never. And I think if I asked my husband to, he would laugh at me — and I’d be asking, which, I mean, if you have to ask . . .
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If it makes you feel any better, back in the day, I remember a break up that left me wearing pj’s for three days, not opening my blinds, answering my phone, or checking my e-mail, and crying so hard that my face looked alien. I felt like the world was ending.
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And you know what? It all got better.
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I am so embarrassed by how much I love this show.
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Also, I’ll say it: I’ve never cried over a break up. Bitter? Yes. Frustrated? Yes. Sad… maybe, but not enough to cry. I cry over lots of stuff… I’m just playing devil’s advocate here to stand up for the sincerity/authenticity of the show.
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But- I got the title of your post! Good one!
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I always feel like I should apologize for HATING that show. I think what I hate is all of the girls who say “oh, my friends and I are totally like that”. No you aren’t!!! They are incredibly rich (despite NEVER actually spending time at work), totally self-absorbed and really eminently hateable people.
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And, I HATE SARAH JESSICA PARKER’S CLOTHES!!! There, I said it! She also looks like a dude, but that is just throwing salt on a wound.
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I adore the title to this post. Super clever! I loved sex and city back in the day but haven’t watch it in a while….I love that you wrote a letter to a fictional person.
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She did cry a little when Aidan left her at Charlotte’s wedding. but I agree- I think I was more upset about that breakup than she was!!! Love this post
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Agree! However, I wouldn’t know what it’s like to be able to go out and buy Manolo Blahniks and Fendi bags…so who knows? Maybe it would help? Might ease the pain a bit.
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I’m sure I’d still cry though. I’m a huge cry baby…emotions are good!
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One of my favorite posts ever. You wrote it perfectly. I love SATC and I may have cried myself to sleep last night over a stupid argument with boyfriend. You have such great timing.
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Gah! I totally agree.
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the secret is that the show is entirely fake in every single aspect.
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Um..yes. Also, we are going to see the movie next month and throw popcorn at Carrie when she deserves it.
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You get a lot of comments. It’s amazing.
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The thing I don’t get is how she has so much money and she writes for the frickin’ paper.
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My niece thinks I look like her.
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I think my niece is drunk. At age seven.
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this was good writing. this was REAL and HONEST and an interesting take on a popularly accepted and lusted after show.
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And yes, real women do cry. You’re not alone.
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I used to watch SATC religiously but then realized I didn’t really like the show.
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First off, I have never had a group of friends who are as available as Carrie’s friends are. My friends have lives and are not able to drop everything just because I want them too.
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Second, if I had a friend as self-absorbed as Carrie, I’d drop her like a hot potato. There are times when she is so mean to Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha and they totally let her get away with it.
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Third, how many times must one break up with someone? I wouldn’t keep going back to Big the way Carrie did. How is it he has any respect for her? No matter what he seems to do, she takes him back. I have limits, apparently Carrie doesn’t.
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Fourth, I don’t choose my friends based on their hair color. My friends all pretty much have brown hair, not like SATC girls: one of each.
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Overall, I think the show shows completely unrealistic relationships both love and friendship.
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PS Got to you from The Extra Ordinary.
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You are very right, there is not enough crying in that show. But I guess the fundamental problem is that real-life crying is boring to other people. I guess that’s why my former BFF didn’t call me when I broke up with my BF. Sorry, that’s an outstanding issue I’m bringing over here to the comments.
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I love Carrie but you are right missy. Geesh.. if we could all handle breakups like Miss. Bradshaw. She should have workshops she handles them so damn well!
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Shanti -
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This really is John Cusack’s fault. God I love him!
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TKTC -
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I love that episode! It’s one of my favorites!
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Tiff -
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You’ve never watched SATC?!
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Alexa -
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Oh I’m still totally excited to see the movie! I love SATC regardless of it’s lack of realism.
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Dutchess -
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Poo on her pretty pink tutu!
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Legally Heidi -
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You tell her!
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Allie -
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I know, seriously! I want someone outside of my window with a boom box. Damn you Cusack!
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Lisa -
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Kudos to you for never crying over a boy!
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Accidentally Me -
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No no, don’t apologize. It’s okay.
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Annette -
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Ah thank yah!
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Julie Q -
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Well, okay, little tears are better than no tears.
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Susie -
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I’m a cry baby too!
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AshleyD -
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Well thank you! I’m sorry about your fight with the bf
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Deutlich -
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Right!
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Apollo -
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Yes, I know. But it’s still fun to get wrapped up in fantasy from time to time
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Jamie -
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I CAN’T WAIT to see the movie!
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I can see why she thinks you look like her though. It’s the hair.
Sobe -
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It depends what I write about. Your niece sounds cute
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Erikka -
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Thank you muchly
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Howling Hill -
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Welcome! You brought up excellent points! Perhaps another letter is in the future
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I’m sorry.
Noelle -
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Just K -
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Maybe we all need Mac laptops?
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Oh I loved this post! I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall last night (early preview–special me!) and it was great. I got to see previews for the new SITC movie and I can’t wait; however, I think Ms. Bradshaw is starting to look like a decrepit woman with a very large (eww) mole on her face with the years of sun showing up on the upper chest, arms, hands and even face area showingcasing her years in the sun. Not the same anymore. As for crying, she probably just can’t pull it off!
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I was never a huge SATC fan, but I totally agree with everything you just said. Thank you for writing this. Because real girls do cry.
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There is one episode where they actually talk about Carrie having a hard time in a break up. I believe it’s season 2 after her and Big broke up. The girls come and force her out of the house and to a baseball game. It has Charlotte talking about how it takes half of the time you were in a relationship to get over it and it shows Carrie struggling getting over it. And yes, since it’s the magical world of TV, she goes on a date with a very hot baseball player, but realistically, the whole time she’s thinking of Big and worried she’ll run into him, etc.
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You definitely have some points I agree with and those points make it blatantly obvious that SATC is TV and that’s that because yeah, it hurts to break up and heal and we all know that. Maybe the show just didn’t want to remind us of the shitty downfall of relationships? I don’t know. Interesting rant though, I liked it!
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heh… preaching to the dang choir with this one. i didn’t even think i WAS a crier until this last one ended..!!
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Love this! It is so true!
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They said on MSNBC that Cynthia Nixon let it slip that one of the girls dies in the movie.
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I wonder if she will cry then?
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Curlysue -
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She was cute when she had short hair. The long curls don’t look good on her.
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Katelin -
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Thank you for reading it!
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2pts4honesty -
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I wish you left a link so I could ask you if your name is from a Guster song. If so, I LOVE you!
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Alice -
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I’m still willing to throw my phone at his face for you.
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Tipptalk -
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Noooooooooooooooooo! Damn you Cynthia Nixon!
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I like it when it finally shows her being vulnerable at the end… when she finds her carrie necklace in her bag. But yea, i agree… she kind of just ignores everything as long as she’s shopping. I wish i could do that.
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So true! I love SATC, but Carrie is my least favorite character. I don’t wish I could drown my sorrows in $400 shoes and cosmos. I like to drown my sorrows in people who care about me. I always found Carrie to be such a fake.
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And, if she’s such a fashion plate, why does she wear skirts with ruffles on the butt? Seriously, Carrie? Seriously?
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Haha–YES, I concur. The show is great, admittedly, but I would like to see her cry. Get truly upset. I like the episode where she sees the psychiatrist–where they finally tell her to stop obsessing over Big. That was a bit more realistic. At least she was obsessing there. Girls obsess. Girls cry. We don’t all get to spend loads of money on shoes to make ourselves feel better.
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I feel like there is ONE time carrie cries, but I feel like it isn’t until she’s leaving new york and her friends that she actually looks really upset and cries. (omg that dinner scene – it made ME cry too!)
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anyway. i cry over failed relationships too. Haven’t found the cure yet but I’m also pretty sure it isn’t drinking cosmos and shopping. i feel like it’s just time, but then again SATC would make a pretty boring show if it showed carrie just upset the entire time after a break up, ya kno?
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still, great letter, and i hope you’re ok. you know i’m here if you ever wanna rant/rave/whatever.
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Erin -
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The ruffles on the butt = no good!
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Lauren -
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Some aspects of reality she handles well. The therapist scene in particular.
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There are times when the show can be quite touching. It’s easy to get wrapped into the fantasy of it all. And thank you 
Clueless Cat -
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The dinner scene was hard to watch
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I’m soooooo linking to this
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Is running out and getting a MAC it must be the answer. MUST!
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