I get up at 7 this morning, not really looking forward to driving out to UIC for placement tests. Algebra? What? Why include numbers AND letters?
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I look out the window only to find that the freshly snow-blowed driveway is now covered with MORE snow. I thought yesterday was the end of it. I don’t remember hearing, “When you wake up Saturday morning don’t look out your window because it’ll suck ass.” Thanks for the warning!
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Anyway, on a less angry note, a couple weeks ago my mom an stepdad joined my grandparents and me for dinner. Some how we got on the topic of meatloaf and hamburgers and the variety of ways to make such items. My stepdad is pretty awesome in a weird I-like-to-make-donuts-with-meat-in-them kind of way. So today I share with you a quote from our meatloaf discussion:
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Stepdad: “Meatloaf is a waste of my time.”
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Mom: “Meatloaf, men, same thing.”
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It’s not quite as crazy at the uterus conversation I had with my grandparents, but I felt the need to document this anyway.
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Last night I discovered that there’s a good chance I could have a displaced adam’s apple on the right side of my neck! Oh my gods! Call the medical journals! Jenn needs a new laptop! Okay it’s probably not an adam’s apple, but when I tilt my head to the right, I can feel a ball under my jaw. I asked Jamie if I should Google “ball in throat,” but she suggested I use “lump.” I did.
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Could be an infected or swollen gland. If that’s the case, I’d like to know why it’s swollen or what infection I’m fighting so I might assist that little gland. Anything so the damn thing stops hurting. BEFORE someone’s all like “gargle with salt water!” or “Call the doctor!” No and I did. They can’t take me until next week so there’s not much I can do about it right now other than complain. So ha!
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But seriously if it turns out to be an adam’s apple, how uncool would that be to find out I’m a man with boobs?
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Hmm…would life be easier that way or worse? We’ll love you regardless.
Milk it your adam’s apple for all its worth. Hawaii!
Ben -
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Aww thanks!
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Jamie -
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Working on it!!!
Check to make sure you aren’t growing a pair doooowwwnnnn there.
Look downstairs, make sure everything is in a feminine order. If not you could be the first ever to have a natural sex change!
If it DOES turn out to be an Adam’s apple, you need to make up some sweet story about how you ripped it out of the throat of a man when you were wee. And then . . . you accidentally swallowed it? Yeah, forget that. Step one: Ignore my advice. I think you’ll be fine after that.
Everything’s okay downstairs folks!
i snorted. that was funny.
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uncool, perhaps, but still funny.
I am REASONABLY certain that you would have noticed any manly traits before now.
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Probably a swollen gland - I get the same thing.
That was funny. I wonder if swallowing all the time will help. But don’t Google that, either.
lol! This is a funny post. I have the swollen gland thing before… always best to check it out, but mine has always been nothing. One time I got a swollen armpit gland, lol. Now that was funny.
While it would be pretty uncool to discover you were a guy, imagine the crotch-scratching, facial-hair-experimenting, chest-bumping new horizons to explore! Nah, probably still lame. But the good news is that it’s probably a swollen gland– I get them, too, and have yet to become another gender.
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