Well hello there all my little blogettes. Jenn is still out of town and I (The Dutchess of Kickball) have the keys to the admin. Muwah ha ha ha. Now what to write about?
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I had a great post written for a couple of days all about how I was boycotting the rest of winter, because I’m pretty sure it has been too cold for just about 14 years now. But then Mother Nature went ahead and bamboozled my plan by making it over 50 degrees in New York for two days straight! Not that I don’t highly appreciate the temperature change, but she could have waited just a few more days so my post would be apropos. Oh well, we’ll just keep that one in the archive as I’m sure it’ll be below freezing again before you know it. You could always just add my blog to your rss so you can catch it later. (OK, I promise I’m done with my own shameless plug.)
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I guess my entire life has really been a challenge against the best laid plans. No matter how hard I try to make something work things never really end up the way I anticipated. I clearly remember in high school that I expected to be married right out of college. It was the way things were supposed to be. Date a boy in high school, stay together in college because that was the way things were supposed to be and then get engaged right after graduation. Of course that just ended up me being naive and being raised by children of the 50’s. 7 years out of college I am 100% single and I haven’t spoken to my high school boyfriend in almost ten years.
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There were plans to become a veterinarian, a professional equestrian, a high-level web executive, a wife, a mother… And often I would feel a significant level of guilt and stress for not succeeding. We live in a world where we hear affirmations like “you can do anything you set your mind to” and “the world is your oyster, you have the power to do anything you want.”
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There are tens of thousands of reasons things don’t go the way we had wanted. Many times, there are variables far out of our own control, the weather for example. And some times we are just young and stupid and give ourselves unattainable goals (compete on America’s Next Top Model – I’m above the age limit). And of course there are the plan which include other people, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t make someone marry you if they don’t want to.
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So here in comes the question. When the best laid plans fail, do we the right to say we aren’t good enough?
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Today’s post has been brought to you by the letter f, the number 9 and the Dutchess of Kickball at www.average20something.com.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Heck no! This is the only time I will ever quote my mother in law on anything, but when hubby and I first moved in together, and some extended family thing did not come together as planned (which it turns out is the norm) she made the comment that “There has not been a day in my life that my plans haven’t changed.” I don’t think she meant it philosophically, I think she was just telling me not to be so anal, but it says more than she meant it to say. Plans change. Things happen for a reason. You are “good enough” because you are able to roll with it and realize YOUR plans aren’t always the right ones.
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All the unattainable goals? I was okay with those. Graduating with highest honors after getting pregnant and married during my sophomore year of college? LSAT score to end all LSAT scores? Full ride to law school? Check, check, and check.
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It was all the other things that I thought were going to be easy: happiness, a stable relationship, good parenting; that have been either a struggle or just damn near impossible some days.
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Funny thing is we keep planning, don’t we?
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“And of course there are the plan which include other people, no matter how hard you try, you just can\’92t make someone marry you if they don\’92t want to.”
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truer words were never spoken my friend.
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i’m a planner who has decided she needs a non-plan plan.
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it’s best to coast through life, plans make people unhappy.
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I agree with Apollocreed. I don’t plan the big things. I’m overall very happy. I like these little surprises that get thrown my way.
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I am far more impressed with people who deal with the unexpected in a courageous manner than those who get lucky for their entire life (or rely on the hard work of others).
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I sometimes feel like my life is a series of “meant tos”. Like gee, I meant to get a job that didn’t make me feel like shit BUT HEY IT JUST DIDN’T WORK OUT.
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I struggle with this too.
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