Maybe there’s a reason I’ve never been asked to do this

Hello bloggers and happy Sunday. The lovely Jenn has asked me to keep an eye around here today while she takes a brief weekend hiatus and I couldn’t be more honored. Being trusted with the key to someone’s blog is no joke – I take my duties very seriously. So let’s keep the shenanigans and party noise down to a dull roar. Deal?
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Good. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, allow me to introduce myself. I’m Ashley of The Light(er) Side of Growing Up and believe it or not, this is my very first stint as a guest blogger.
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I thought long and hard about what to write about today and let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. My creative juices are usually tapped by Sunday, leaving me with the desire to do nothing more than watch reruns of The Office on DVD and maybe throw a load of laundry in the wash. In fact, as I write this, I have yet to have my first cup of coffee. I know. I’m as shocked as you are. It’s almost incomprehensible how I could put together a coherent sentence without a drop of caffeine in my body. And yet, on I go – that’s how seriously I take this guest blogging gig.
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Hey, you there. No, not you. YOU. Yeah. Quiet down over there. Damn kids.
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So I’m three paragraphs in and have yet to actually write about anything. My ability to bullshit my way through writing assignments is what carried me through college, my friends. I like to think of my BA as both a Bachelor of Arts and a certificate in Bullshit Achievement. Magna Cum Laude, thankyouverymuch. I guess it would have been more appropriate if I had received a BS…but I think that required I take another math class. <Rolls on the floor laughing>
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Let’s see. I could write about my plans for the day. Actually, maybe you could help me decide how exactly I should spent this very sunny Sunday. If you could see the floor of my bedroom right now, you might tell me that I should get off my ass and do some damn laundry for god’s sake. I’d probably tell you to calm down and refrain from using fowl language. But then again, you’d be right. I think the point at which the pile of clothes on your couch prevents any light from entering through the double windows on the wall behind it warrants some immediate action.
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I should also make the trip to the gym and work off those delicious oatmeal cookies I felt compelled to bake yesterday. I justified this action by allowing myself to believe that the three cups of oats used in the recipe superseded all the sugar and butter and refined flour. You know, cause oats are healthy. And stuff.
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What? Not when they’re combined with massive quantities of sugar and butter? You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.
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Well look at that. I’ve managed a whole entry without picking a single topic. Lazy? Unfocused? Maybe. I’d like to think of it as a quiet sort of genius.
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If you liked what you read here, feel free to visit my blog for an almost daily dose of incoherent asshattery, sprinkled with some quips about bad reality TV and my incurable road rage. I’d like to thank Jenn for giving me the opportunity to share my inane ramblings with her wonderful readers. I’m sure by now they’re dying for you to return.

Tagged as: Guest Bloggers