Hi everyone. It’s The Missus here. I am honored to be guest-blogging for Miss Jenn while she is away in the “durty-durty.”
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I am such a masochist lately. Between all my crazy workouts this week (Pilates, weight training, Core Fusion), I have now decided that today I will be starting my fourth 30-Day Bikram Yoga Challenge.
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In case you didn’t know, Bikram Yoga is hot hatha yoga. It’s 90 minutes of 26 traditional hatha yoga poses. And they are done in a room that is heated to about 107 degrees, with a humidity of 70%. During class, your brain starts to zone out. Your heart starts to pound just from lifting your leg up. Your shoulders get exhausted. And you are soaked with sweat in mere minutes after the first posture.
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That last item is precisely why you must wear shorts in the class. And the shorter, the better. You don’t want to be yanking your shorts around because they are bothering you during the meditation. And where there are short shorts, there comes a need for bikini waxes.
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Think about it, you’re bending forward, with your butt in the air… Or stretching with your legs spread. Or laying on your back, pulling your knees into your chest… Something could easily peak out. And because I am starting a challenge today, I decided that I needed a bikini wax last night.
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What a totally awesome way to spend a Friday evening at the end of an already tiring week!
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The one thing I fear most when I get a bikini wax isn’t the pain of the ripping and pulling. Nope, I have adjusted to that. What I fear most is the conversation you have when you are getting it done. I mean, you’re sitting there, naked from the waist down. And the woman who gives you your facials each month is now looking at your “ginger snap” up close, and trying to make it “pretty.”
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So I decided to come up with a list of topics that I have discovered, over time, are “okay” to discuss while getting a bikini wax. These approved topics for discussion include:
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- The weather. You can’t go wrong with talking about the weather at any time. It’s a good topic for any occasion.
- The reason for your bikini wax, if it’s not too personal. I mean, you probably wouldn’t say to your esthetician, “Yeah, I’m seeing a new guy and really want to impress him when I go to sleep with him tomorrow night.” But if you’re getting a wax for a beach vacation or for a yoga challenge, you can talk about that.
- Other services the spa offers, besides bikini waxes. While you’re laying on your back, it’s a good time to inquire about other treatments available at the spa. Last night, I asked about Exhale’s new GRN line. It’s cheaper than the Fresh line I have been using, but it too is organic.
- Pop culture. Like the weather, this topic is good for many situations. In fact, this could be a great time to ask what they think of all the celebrities who go around showing off their bare “ginger snaps” to the paparazzi. You could even ask their opinion of how often they think the celebrities go to get their’s waxed too.
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If all else fails, you can sit there in awkward silence… And pray it all ends quickly and efficiently. But I prefer to go the Carrie Bradshaw method of making conversation while wearing hot pink heels. (Fast forward to 6 minutes and 38 seconds.)






{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Missus, your list of “okay topics” cracked me up. I’ve only experienced this once and it was so awkward. I don’t know why, but we began talking about her schooling and how she had to practice this on classmates. Ugh, how uncomfortable haha. I’m still not used to the pain though
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Thanks for being a guest blogger!
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I am so enthralled by this Bikram Yoga. I am going to have to do some serious googling to find the closest session.
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I’ve never had a wax before. Shocking! I know! I’ve been contemplating going to get one. Thanks for the reassurance that I’ll have something to talk about.
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Missus……ginger snap? Honestly, I have never heard that one before! lol Thanks for the laugh. I’ll add it to my lingo.
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As for teh wax, I’ve never had one either so don’t feel back Hope. I’ve thought about it, but then I hear about the pain, the thought of my downunder being on display and the different positions you have to be in to get everything down there, that hair may come back thicker (I’ve been told) if you don’t keep it up and the risk of infection. Oh boy.
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Thanks for the great entry. It was very entertaining!!
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I am intrigued by bikram yoga, but after my first attempt at power yoga today, i am not so sure. but core fusion? that is a doozy.
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i’ve never gotten a bikini wax, but have been thinking about it as something to do soon so i appreciate these helpful conversation tips.
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Last time (and the only time) I got one, I talked about running. It helped ease the pain of my body issues by making sure the lady knew that I was actually in shape, despite possible evidence to the contrary.
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I have to make a lot of small talk in physical therapy as well. It’s the worst!
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I went to Florida recently and decided to get a pedicure before I went, as well as some waxing considering I’d be in a bathing suit while I was there. =) Not my first wax, but the first one at this spa. After I finished my pedicure, I was taken into the waxing room. The woman looked at me and said, ‘we don’t want to mess up your toes, so just leave your pants on, around your ankles.’ No problem…until she got to a hard to reach area.
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Kid you not…there I was, legs in the air…towards the ceiling, pants around my ankles while she was taking care of business. We were laughing about it, so it wasn’t TOO awkward.
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FWIW–the toes didn’t get messes up.
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Tears -
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That’s hilarious haha
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thanks much, man
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