Sometimes the distance doesn’t feel so great. It seems to fill up with all of the things we don’t say to each other.
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By this I mean we all have secrets, worries, fears and suspicions we don’t voice. I tend to mute my worries because some of them are completely ridiculous and are only the product of my obsessive-compulsive mentality. Others, I worry, would make me seem too vulnerable, too immature, too fickle. I worry about worries…that’s rich.
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How much do I not say? I think many people would be surprised. And not all of it is bad. Simple thank yous and words of admiration, appreciation and respect are never heard.
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This revelation reflects greatly on my relationship and communication, but it also applies to many other non-romantic relationships I have with people, even fellow bloggers.
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So I ask you this, what is it you want to say that you can’t find the courage to?
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I know exactly what you mean. I think you are pulling my thoughts from my head because recently you have been saying a lot of things that I just shake my head up and down quickly to!
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I think sometimes people are afraid to say what they feel because they have had even just one experience where they did open up and possibly put themselves in a vulnerable position and it backfired. Just like in a relationship where one gets cheated on, you are a little hesitant if not very hesitant, to try anything soon after. People learn quickly and sometimes it takes a few slaps before they get it.
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As for you saying ‘i love you’ to even family, when you were growing up did your parents freely use the phrase? I do with my family most times when we hang up the phone or leave from one of our visits. As for a relationship with a man, I’ve never been in a relationship long enough to even get to that point. Either it caves soon, I find out he’s an ass within the first month or he cheats or something else dramatic happens. SO, as for that part, me to say the L word to a man has yet to be addressed
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Did I ramble? I’m sorry. And since I can’t seem to get Snap Shot to work for my site:
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http://theycallmecurlysue.wordpress.com/
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What’s holding you back from saying these things? What would be the worst that could happen if you did say it?
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I just sent a very personal email to a friend about what I was feeling about him and it was so freeing to get it out there. Scary, yes, but more freeing than anything.
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Take the step and say those words. Life’s too short not to!
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Tears -
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A part of me just doesn’t feel ready. Kudos to you for putting it all out there!
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Jenn-
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I get it. It seems almost safer to just keep those words in and the thoughts quiet. Although I used to keep it all inside and it would come out eventually. usually fueled by too much alcohol and one sly comment. Your worries and opinions and feelings are worth being heard by the people you need to voice them to. I don’t know why you feel this way or what has happened to get you here, but you’re more than allowed to speak up.
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It may take time, but I know that just coming to the realization and admitting it is half of the work.
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If you’re not ready, you’re not ready, but in the mean time you should ask why are you not ready? do you not trust people you love to respect what you have to say?
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Sometimes flipping the whole, I don’t want to burden people or I am afraid attitude can help you say it, put it out there. Because this is not all about you, it’s about you and the people you are not being honest with. And some or all of those people would probably DIE for a chance to be there for you. Listen to you. And help you. So if you think of it that way, that your denying people chances to grow with you, maybe…you can get some perspective.
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Just a thought.
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But when you’re ready, I hope you don’t let fear rule you.
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ease into it. once you let go of certain sentiments, they live outside you, and they quite eating you away inside. it just takes a leap of faith.
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You’re human. Embrace it.
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